Wednesday, October 11, 2006

AN OFFER I COULDN’T REFUSE

I can safely say that of all the titles, ranks and positions I’ve been given during my lifetime, “Godfather” is among the least expected.

Last weekend that was in fact what my sister asked me to be. She and her husband live in London, England, and gave birth to little Cameron last August. They’re coming for Christmas this year and have planned to have their son baptized at our family’s church in Town of Mount Royal, here in good old Montreal.

I was very honored to be asked, but there was (and perhaps still is) some trepidation. True, I regularly go to church. Like clockwork, Christmas Eve, in and out, see you next year. More to the point, I have, over the years, become less and less impressed with organized religion. Of course, it’s the fundamentalists who ruin it for everyone. I’m thinking at this second of the horrible Bible-humping zealots who would ban “Harry Potter” books because they promote Satan worship. Maybe it just hits a nerve with me, but once you ban stories, ANY stories, especially the type that fire up young imaginations, the type that at many points in my life could have been described as my REASON FOR LIVING, when you mess with stories like that, you’re on my shit-list. These are the same right wing Christian cum-catchers who run shows like “The Book of Daniel” off the air, which, to my understanding, told the story of a young Messiah-type finding his way in the world. I never saw the show. But from the reviews I read I wish I had, as it seemed like an intriguing premise, thoughtfully executed. But a few God-fearing mung-munchers decided it was blasphemy, so I guess I’ll never know.

Skimming that last paragraph, I guess I don’t need to explain in much more detail why I may not be the most appropriate god-parent. “Cum-catcher” isn’t exactly the stuff of scripture. So do I have the right to stand there before a congregation when I am less and less certain God exists, and downright positive that if he does exist, he’s not reading J.K. Rowling or watching TV?

Yes, of course I have the right to stand there, ‘cause I was asked. But how to reconcile taking a vow to ensure that little Cameron lives a life devoted to the teachings of Jesus Christ?

Well, the way I see it, my sister is just about the most Christ-y member of my family. She is selfless and considerate and steadfast in her dedication to be selfless and considerate. As a nurse she helps people every day. Off duty she is respectful and polite and kind to acquaintance and stranger alike. And her husband’s a swell guy, too. I would be comfortable standing there and pledging to let Cameron grow in that environment, whether any of them ever set foot in a church again or not. He’s in good hands.

As for me being a good godfather, I take a look at the standards. The most famous godfather in the world is a Mafioso scumbag who killed people, had people killed, extorted, robbed, and ordered rude things done to horses. Now I may not be the pillar of morality I should be, but based on those films, Cameron could do worse.

I am proud to be a part of my baby nephew’s upbringing, as a symbolic figurehead and as a loving uncle. And wherever possible I will contribute to his growth by cultivating in him a sense of humor, kindness, cheer and imagination.

Yes, there will be Harry Potter books.

Zealots be damned.