Pryde Unprejudiced

2011-10-09T16:16:00.001-04:00

DAVID IS THANKFUL FOR TWO AWESOME DEBATES AIRING THIS WEEK

If my sources are correct, I will appear on The Debaters on CBC TV this TUESDAY, OCTOBER 11TH AT 9:30PM, debating against the virtues of Do-It-Yourself handiwork, then again on CBC Radio on SATURDAY, OCTOBER 15TH AT 1:00PM, debating against Comic Book Movies. As I recall, both debates were very, very good! Are the CIA planting false memories in my head again? Tune in and find out!

Happy Thanksgiving!

2011-09-14T12:15:00.003-04:00

NO MORE DEBATE-AND-SWITCH

The television version of The Debaters has been airing off-and-on at different times on different nights, first during the hockey playoffs and then sporadically during the summer. No more! Now they've found their official time slot which will be, STARTING TONIGHT, EVERY WEDNESDAY NIGHT AT 9:30 ON CBC TV.

And to show off my insider-ness I've got a list of the topics and comics lined up from Sep. to Dec.

So peruse below (and spot ye olde blog host's appearance right around Thanksgiving on October 12th).

And tell your friends to support the show and spark a tradition of debating with no signs of abating.

Debates for Fall 2011:

114  - Sept. 14
Scientology
Paul Bae and Erica Sigurdson

Bald is Beautiful
David Hemstad and Scott Faulconbridge

115 – Sept. 21
Lower Expectations
Roman Danylo  and Ellie Harvie

Zombies Versus Vampires
Pete Zedlacher  and Kristeen von Hagen and

116 – Sept. 28
Walmart
Darcy Michael and Alan Park

Beauty versus Brains
Joh Steinberg and Darrin Frost

117 – Oct. 5
Fast Food
Alan Park and Ron Sparks

Great Women
John Wing and Dragon Den's Arlene Dickenson

118 – Oct. 12
Cirque du Soleil
Derek Seguin and Rebecca Kohler

DIY
Andrew Younghusband and David Pryde

119 – Oct. 19
Old Rockers
Glen Foster and Pete Zedlacher

Revenge
Nikki Payne and Dave Hemstad

120 – Oct. 26

Breaking Up
Phil Hanley and Laurie Elliott

Rome versus America
Don Kelly and Rick Green

125 – Nov. 2
News versus Sports
Rebecca Kohler versus Dave Hemstad

Suzuki versus Cherry
Charlie Demers versus Sean Cullen

121 – Nov. 9
Older Men Younger Women
John Wing and Teresa Pavlinek

Soccer
Harry Doupe and Tim Steeves

122 – Nov. 16
Fur
Don Kelly and Graham Clark

Weddings
Elvira Kurt and Scott Thompson

123 – Nov. 23
3D
Ron Sparks and Graham Clark

Camping
Mike Wilmot and Deb Kimmett

124 – Nov. 30
Tea versus Coffee
Sean Cullen and Pete Johansson

Fewer Channels
Derek Edwards and Nathan Macintosh

126 – Dec. 7
Cheating
Pete Johansson and Charles Demers

Garage Sales
Graham Chittenden and Morgan Brayton

NOTE: The Debaters is still on the radio, too!

Saturdays at 1:00pm and Wednesdays at 11:30am on CBC Radio One!

2011-07-17T13:33:00.002-04:00

DEBATING ABOUT MOVIES FROM HELL (AND OTHER COMIC BOOK ADAPTATIONS)

It’s official! I’m going to be debating the heady topic of Comic Books Make the Best Movies at this year’s Just for Laughs Debaters taping. I will be arguing that they do NOT make the best movies while my opponent Pat Thornton will defend the controversial practice that has inflicted the likes of Judge Dredd and Jonah Hex on an ill-prepared public.

The show is at Montreal’s Place Des Arts on Saturday, July 30th 2011, at 2:00pm.

More details (including the show’s killer line-up of a dozen acts) can be found at this link:

http://www.cbc.ca/thedebaters/attend/

Specifics on how to get tickets are at this link:

http://www.hahaha.com/en/montreal/act/1118

Don’t miss this once-in-a-lifetime chance to hear references like Judge Dredd and Jonah Hex used onstage at Place des Arts.

Who says this isn’t the Debaters’ Age of Cross-cultured Comedy/Comic Cultists?

Excelsior!

2011-05-26T15:53:00.003-04:00

ABSOLUTE UPHEAVAL (OR "DAVID ENTERS A NEW STAGE")

I am back in Ottawa but, this time, at a different club.

As most of you well know, when a worldwide terrorist threat is assassinated (it was one of my more memorable birthdays) it is common for people to absorb the news, feel the winds of change, and decide to try something new.

A last minute opening coupled with this sentiment combined such that I find myself headlining at Absolute Comedy Club right here in Ottawa.

I've already done two shows (closing the Tuesday and Wednesday Pro-Amateur nights) and I have to say I have not enjoyed such a debut at a new club since my first time at the Skyline in Appleton (the city, not the rum). So I'm looking forward to more shows at Absolute (the club, not the vodka) both here and then next week in Toronto.

For details check out www.absolutecomedy.ca or just keep reading...

Absolute Comedy Ottawa

412 Preston Street
613-233-8000

Thursday, May 26th at 8:30pm
Friday, May 27th at 8:00pm and 10:30pm
Saturday, May 28th at 8:00pm and 10:30pm
Sunday, May 29th at 8:00pm

Absolute Comedy Toronto

2335 Yonge Street
416-486-7700

Wednesday, June 1st at 8:30pm
Thursday, June 2nd at 8:30pm
Friday, June 3rd at 9:00pm
Saturday, June 4th at 8:00pm and 10:45pm
Sunday, June 5th at 8:00pm

Pop on by, 'cause based on recent experience there are good times to be had. Catch you later!

2011-04-11T13:05:00.003-04:00

A-POLITICAL ANNOUNCEMENT

Just posting a little campaign notice that I am headlining at the OTTAWA YUK YUKS on Elgin Street all this weekend (Thursday through Saturday). Reservations may be made (or expressed) at 613-236-5233.

And rest assured that the only election coverage will be made by the front of my trousers.

Also be assured there was a typo in that last sentence.

2011-03-23T21:55:00.005-04:00

NO BUSY-NESS LIKE SHOW BUSY-NESS

Next week will be the most hectic comedy week I’ve had in a while as I bounce from one end of the country to the next in an array of gigs fraught with tele-prompters and Torah-readings.

I’m excited to be recording not one but two episodes of The Debaters, not only for radio but for the new-fangled televised series. Those debates will take place at:

CBC Vancouver, Studio 40
700 Hamilton Street
Vancouver, British Columbia

On Wednesday, March 30th at 1:00pm I will argue against the virtues of Do It Yourself renovations against none other than Andrew Younghusband, host of Discovery’s “Canada’s Worst Handyman”.

Then, on Thursday, March 31st at 6:30pm I argue against the virtues of cloning the DNA of extinct animals (not necessarily on a Do It Yourself basis) against none other than Canadian comic/mad genius Sean Cullen.

Apparently, all the shows are selling out fast, but www.cbc.ca/thedebaters/attend would be the place to check if seats are still available.

On April Fool’s morning I hope to find my flight out of Vancouver is not a hoax as I boot it back to Montreal (as three hours evaporate across the time zones) to rush onto the stage at Jimbo’s Comedyworks (1238 Bishop Street, Montreal, Quebec, 514-398-9661) to headline two Friday night shows at 8:30pm and 11:00pm.

Then, the following Saturday afternoon I perform at my first ever Bar Mitzvah, which is quite a milestone for me, almost as if I was undergoing some rite of passage into a next stage of manhood or something.

Then I plunge back onto the less-than-kosher Comedyworks stage to headline two Saturday night shows, again at 8:30pm and 11:00pm.

And then I go home and reintroduce myself to my family.

Mazel Tov!

2011-03-03T14:42:00.003-05:00

NO SHOW TONIGHT, BUT HERE'S SOME TONIGHT SHOW

Here's a clip of my 15 seconds of NBC notoriety, my cameo on the Pass the Mic segment of the Tonight Show with Jay Leno.

19 more of these and I've got a shot at the couch!

Also, listen for me on this Saturday's "The Debaters" at 1:00pm EST on CBC Radio One. The topic is Wikileaks so tune in and hear what the government censors allowed to make it to air!

2011-02-04T15:18:00.005-05:00

COMEDY IN FEBRUARY NOT UP FOR DEBATE

Okay, some of it will be. Particularly during my cameo at Moncton's Hubcap Comedy Festival as part of CBC Radio's The Debaters taping on Saturday, February 12th, at the Capitol Theatre. I will be railing against Wikileaks and their transparent (or at least pasty) leader Julian Assange during the 9:00pm show.

Further details are being leaked at:

http://www.cbc.ca/thedebaters/attend/

Also in February:

Saturday, February 19th: I will be back in Montreal appearing at the tribute for the late comedian, Jocko Alston, at Ernie Butler's Comedynest, at the Pepsi Forum (3rd floor) on St. Catherine and Atwater, at both 8:30pm and 10:30pm shows. Reserve at 514-932-6378.

Friday, February 25th and Saturday, February 26th: I'm opening for Last Comic Standing finalist Gerry Dee at Jimbo's Comedyworks at 1238 Bishop Street (that's in Montreal too!) for two shows on both nights at 8:30pm and 11:00pm. Reserve at 514-398-9661.

So that's a bit of comedy for February. Hope folks can make it out!

Have a good month!

2010-12-24T23:08:00.004-05:00

MERRY XMAS TO ALL

And to all, a little cheery flick for the season courtesy of the newly extended family.

Happy Holidays and All the Best in Ought-Eleven!

2010-12-22T23:20:00.002-05:00

R.I.P. JOCKO ALSTON

I learned this morning that one of the mainstays of Montreal comedy died last night of a heart attack. Jocko Alston was a consistently solid comic whom I first met at a gig at Stogies when I was just starting out. He'd been well established on the scene for a while already, and as was the case with so many of this city's veterans, he was friendly and inviting and put me at ease in that new and often unforgiving profession that is show biz.

Upon hearing of his death, my first reaction was to think of the Wiggles (stay with me, there's a reason). Like me, Jocko was a relatively new father, and a great one to chat with about kid stuff. When last we spoke, Jocko told me how he was taking his daughter, Presley, to the Wiggles concert at the Bell Centre. I immediately tracked down tickets for my family and ended up enjoying a fun-filled evening not only watching the band and watching my kids watch the band, but scanning the floor section/slash/mosh pit for a bald black head shimmy-shaking away. I think I saw about eight of them. I looked forward to asking him which of those heads was his the next time I saw him, and comparing notes on the show in general.

Now we'll never get to have that conversation. A trivial first thought to have when hearing such bad news, sure, but that's life and death for you. It's the little "nevers" like that that make you miss a person when they're gone. Especially when that person was always positive, kind-hearted, and a great guy to work with and to laugh with.

My deepest condolences to Claire, Presley and all the many other friends and loved ones of Jocko, not just "a funny bald negro" but a very good man.

2010-10-13T00:01:00.002-04:00

DAVID IS A KEY PART OF DVD

At least the consonants are. Which is no doubt why comedian Scott Faulconbridge has kindly allowed me to take part in his FIRST EVER DVD TAPING this Saturday October 16th 2010 at 8:00pm inside the Just for Laughs Cabaret/Studio Juste Pour Rire, the building on the corner of Sherbrooke and St. Laurent Boulevard.

Scott is prepared to unleash a veritable onslaught of hilarious material both new and “classic”, so come check out the show. It will be MC-ed by Debaters host-supreme and all-around great Steve Martin-impresser Steve Patterson. I will be performing some improv with Scott which in DVD-terms makes me an added bonus feature. Or possibly a deleted scene but it still promises to be swell.

Come check it out, ‘cause we’d be happy to have you, too, be part of this DVD, vowels and all.

2010-06-06T17:25:00.019-04:00

POSITIVE ID ON NEW BABY

It’s been exactly one week since our beautiful baby girl entered the world, and at long last we are prepared to announce a name. Well, technically several: Welcome to Livia Katherine Tilda Pryde.

We really love the sound of “Livia”, a named shared by at least one Roman empress (so that’s classy). We also like that it’s adaptable, able to be shortened to a very cute yet scholarly “Livy”, which we call her around the house, and maybe down the line, “Liv”, if she marries into Elvish royalty.

“Katherine” also has some royal connections as well as roots on both sides of our family and, not insignificantly, literary figure Katherine Pryde (a.k.a. “Kitty”), an adventurer of great courage and intelligence who fought prejudice and intolerance and also pioneered friendly U.S./Russian relations.

“Tilda” is another name that just sounded sweet to us, while being adequately separate from “Matilda”, which refers to a totally different girl from our family's history.

Besides, Clancy has grown attached to the name “Tilly”, which is fine as it has well-known Australian ties. Plus our girl has proven very durable and washable.

Fun fact: If you count the scheming appearance of Livia in the series, “Rome”, plus Clancy Brown’s portrayal of a sinister priest in “Carnivale”, we are now two for two in having kids connected to HBO villains!

No plans at the moment for a little Adebisi, Swearingen, or Susie Essman.

In any event, Livia still responds to whatever we call her with varying parts indifference and irritability. Possibly she is hearing something far more pleasant in her dreams, where she seems to be in a very happy place.

So am I.

Thank you for joining us, Livia.

2010-06-02T12:15:00.005-04:00

CANADIAN COMEDIAN EARNS SECOND GEMINI

Greetings,

This is to let you all know (officially) that on Sunday, May 30th 2010 at 2:40 pm, Michelle Johnstone gave birth to a beautiful baby girl and David Pryde is taking credit as the father.

In just over 24 hours the baby was born, got her shots, her preliminary check-up, was released from hospital and was waitressing at Three Amigos.

The baby girl does not have an official name yet as we keep coming up with new options that merit consideration. The latest is Mike Paterson's suggestion of naming her "The-Expos". It's great because it makes sense.

In other news, Clancy turned 3 years old on June 1st at 4:10pm. His best presents came from his new sister, who figured she'd get on his good side right off the bat.

There will probably be an official naming announcement in the next few days. Followed by another birth announcement in 2013. I'm calling June 3rd at 6:40pm.

All the best to everyone,

father david (and Michelle, Clancy, and Most Recent)

2010-05-21T23:21:00.002-04:00

WHO II: THE SOPHOMORE “BUMP” SLUMP

In about ten days my second baby is due.

At this stage in my previous (sympathetic) pregnancy I had written a whack of blog posts about the anxiety, the suspense, the self-doubts, and so forth. I reflected on the coming changes in my life, career and sense of identity. I made a home movie of my dog. The sentimentality was flying in all directions and threatening to choke the internet like a snake in Hercules’s crib (although thankfully I didn’t indulge in too many archaic mythology references back then).

So here we are in the homestretch and nary a philosophy has been waxed. Which breeds a whole different category of self-doubt: is this a case of “been there, sired that?” Is our sophomore bump doomed to a life of hand-me-down milestones and sloppy-seconds celebrations? Am I going to show the same commitment in iMovie hours and mini DV cassettes, or will I skip it this time in favour of a nice, relaxing coma?

I’m a little bit guilty about the decline in my own personal prenatal hoopla but not overly, I don’t think. Because I recognize the key factor on this go-round that makes the luxury of idle reflection in much shorter supply. A certain three-year-old is requiring just as much attention as ever, in fact more so, as he prepares to abdicate the high chair for his successor.

Little Clancy’s been very enthusiastic about the new baby as a theoretical concept. I suspect to him it seems like a role reversal where the parents have the imaginary friend and he gets to be the patronizing voice that’s playing along. But he’s playing along very nicely, even greeting the baby through Mommy’s belly button which he uses like a sort of navel intercom. It’s quite sweet. The boy’s clearly racking up all the cuteness points he can before the new kid shows up.

Besides the distracting toddler, the calm around here is probably a positive thing, a sign of confidence and faith that know what we’re dealing with.

Speaking of which, one major difference in this pregnancy is, as of a month ago, we eliminated a major source of suspense: is this a he-who or a she-who? I will still always remember the excitement of discovering “it’s a boy” right at the delivery. But Michelle convinced me we should try the "can-actually-make-some-preparations" perspective. (Admittedly she wasn’t in the greatest position to enjoy the moment the first time. I guess the ordeal of labour kind of kills the “jump-for-joy” impulse. Stirrups can’t help.) So we found out and I can honeslty say the advance discovery is no less happy (yet refreshingly less bloody!).

We’ve kind of been keeping the gender a secret, but when people ask we give it up pretty easily. It feels hard to justify keeping secrets from other people when it doesn’t really affect them so much. Let’s face it, the kinds of secrets people are interested in are usually a bit more in the dirty laundry category involving things like grotesque nipple irregularities or golfers named after cats.

At any rate, the important thing is that both mother and baby are healthy. Michelle’s last ultrasound showed that, lo and behold, she is indeed healthy. And so is Michelle.

So things are relaxed, but no fear. It’s still going to be a big deal once things start contracting, dilating and demanding instant gratification.

I’ll keep you posted. Assuming I get around to it.

2010-05-17T22:56:00.003-04:00

RETRO PROMO

As further evidence of how tuned-in and on-the-ball and hyphen-sarcastic I am, I just thought I'd mention that my episode of CBC's Laugh Out Loud was on a bit over two weeks ago. People can still hear my set at the CBC website here (it's the second half of the May 1st episode).

It's a pleasant little set from the Winnipeg Comedy Festival (which was, all-told, more than pleasant, in fact one of the most fun extended weekends of my whimsical little career).

The set didn't air in its entirety. Alas, they cut gems like BREASTS and FORESKIN. But they left in other gems like BRAILLE and VAGINAL, so it's still chock full of edu-tainment. Enjoy!

2010-04-01T11:12:00.003-04:00

NO FOOLIN'

Next week I am honoured to appear at the Winnipeg Comedy Festival. I've got a few nifty shows including the Home Show Gala that features a set of brand new jokes about buying a new home. People that have caught me at the Montreal clubs recently may have noticed me cobbling this set together, and I would like to take this moment to thank them for their supportive laughter and polite stares, where appropriate.

For details about where I'll be at, click this.

And maybe I'll see you there!

Oh yeah, by the way, I'm doing another Debaters while I'm there, arguing about the merits, or lack thereof, of Darth Vader as a father.

Sometimes life is kind.

2010-02-08T16:40:00.004-05:00

ON THE ROAD AGAIN

Here are a few places I will be performing outside of Montreal in the coming weeks:

HALIFAX

February 11th-14th at Yukyuks: Westin Nova Scotian, 1181 Hollis Street, 902-429-9857

Thursday 8:30pm
Friday 8:30pm
Saturday TWO SHOWS 8:00pm and 10:30pm
Sunday EXTRA VALENTINE’S DAY SHOW 9:00pm

ST. JOHN’S

February 18th-20th at Yukyuks: 193 Kenmount Road, 709-726-9857

Thursday 8:00pm
Friday TWO SHOWS 8:00pm and 10:30pm
Saturday TWO SHOWS 8:00pm and 10:30pm

TORONTO

March 3rd-7th at Yukyuks: Richmond Street West, 416-967-6431

Wednesday 8:00pm
Thursday 8:00pm
Friday TWO SHOWS 8:00pm and 10:30pm
Saturday TWO SHOWS 8:00pm and 10:30pm
Sunday 8:00pm

That and more info can be found at www.yukyuks.com

Plus, stay tuned for news of my debut at the Winnipeg Comedy Festival this April, which should include among other stuff a CBC gala and a taping of The Debaters.

That’s some pretty busy pre-natal giggin’!

Best to all,

David P.

2010-01-03T16:57:00.004-05:00

IN WITH THE NEW, IN WITH CERTAIN OLD RERUNS AS WELL

Happy New Year to everyone!

Keep an ear out for a repeat performance of my debate with the great (comedian) Bob Marley talking digital piracy.

That's this Wednesday morning, January 6th 2010 (that's my first date I've written in the new year, got the year right on the first try and everything!).

11:30 AM on CBC Radio One, Sirius Satellite Radio 137.

Hope everyone has lots of laughs this year!

And All the Best.

-dp

2009-12-24T23:50:00.003-05:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS, ONE AND ALL

Or Clancemas, if you've been following what has become a bit of a tradition, the latest installment of which is hereby presented for your perusal.

All the best, this holiday season.

2009-12-20T15:23:00.004-05:00

JUST 'CAUSE I'M NOT SURE IF THIS IS UP ANYWHERE ON THE INTERNET YET

This is a little film clip introducing our "Elves" sketch at our Power Force show three months ago.

It has nothing to do with Christmas.

But Merry Christmas anyway.

2009-11-19T22:23:00.008-05:00

CLOSE ENCOUNTER OF THE BIRTH KIND

I am very happy to announce that yesterday we met a brand new prospective tenant and future (second) Pryde and joy.

Granted, right now the baby looks a bit like this:

But if you remember, that alien ended up looking like this:

Precocious and delightful!

Mother is still working through a flu (non-swine variety) but is feeling happy.

The due date is May 31st 2010. The day before our first child's birthday.

Yeah, guess we're not really getting the whole "rhythm method" thing.

Incidentally, in case I forgot to mention it, Daddy is happy too.

2009-10-16T14:04:00.002-04:00

THANKS, I'LL BE DEBATING ALL WEEK

If you check out the website http://www.cbc.ca/thedebaters/ you'll see I'm going to be on back-to-back episodes of The Debaters.

The first one is Saturday October 17th at 1:00pm, where I argue the dangers of digital piracy with the super-funny Bob Marley, as recorded this past Just for Laughs festival.

The second one is on Wednesday October 21st at 11:30pm, where I praise the merits of superheroes against the super-funny (yeah, that adjective's better in this case) Ian Boothby, who recently one an Eisner Award, the comic book equivalent of the Oscars, for a short story he wrote for the Simpsons comic, so mention that to whoever you're listening with. 'Cause those are the details that get you some real action.

Both debates are on CBC Radio One and Sirius Satellite Radio 137. Apparently these are now available on iTunes now, as well, but I don't know the specifics on that. Something to do with the internet, which I try to stay away from.

2009-09-17T11:55:00.005-04:00

MAY POWER FORCE BE WITH YOU

Last May I joined my friends Mike Paterson, Tim Rabnett and Terence Bowman to form a sketch troupe for Montreal's Sketchfest at Theatre Ste-Catherine. We were called POWER FORCE: COMEDY FOR GEEKS and performed a delightful array of sketches on topics ranging from superheroes to Star Trek to Battlestar Galactica.

Long story short: It went really well, so we're back for a FULL WEEKEND, the last weekend of September, with new sketches, as well as the old ones that were so successful in the first place.

Details on the poster. By the way, if you see the word "sketch" mispelled, that's not a typo, that guy just pronounces it funny.

Hope to see you there! Live long and prosper.

Hey, lookee here, I found a version without a typo (yeah, it was a typo!). Otherwise, it's identical in every way. Yup, I see no difference at all!

Which is why I can't get a pilot's license!

2009-07-27T22:18:00.002-04:00

REMINDER TO VOTE

Just reminding folks that the deadline is THIS FRIDAY (July 31st) to register and vote in the Canadian Comedy Awards for 2009. Anyone can participate by going to http://www.canadiancomedy.ca/ and following the instructions to register and vote.

Remember, if you don't vote you have no right to complain if the elected official fails to fulfill the obligations of their position (which, for comedians, means padding your intro and charging more for corporate events).

As Aristotle once said, "If liberty and equality are chiefly to be found in democracy they will be best attained when all persons alike share oh never mind it's just a silly awards show. Let me tell you about the substance of aether..."

Ahead of his time, that 'Totle.

2009-07-22T09:35:00.003-04:00

NOT UP FOR DEBATE

It's a very good episode of The Debaters taping this Saturday at the Just for Laughs Cabaret at 2:00pm. . Check out this line-up! Andy Kindler, Ed Byrne, Mike Wilmot, the Dan-D-Lyons (and many more!) under one roof makes for some interesting argumentation and a nice way to spend an afternoon.

Place: Just for Laughs Cabaret, 2111 St. Laurent in Montreal
Time: Saturday July 25th at 2:00pm
Tickets: 514-845-2322

It'll be cool.

2009-07-14T21:25:00.002-04:00

BIO-RHYTHM

This year I’ve been writing for the Just for Laughs website (www.hahaha.com), condensing the comedians’ bios to 140-word capsules. An early one I wrote was for the legendary John Cleese. I was asked to rewrite it on the quite understandable grounds that it was a bit hard to follow. That’s ‘cause I wrote it as a tribute to John Cleese’s great Word Association Football monologue on Monty Python’s Flying Circus. It’s an obscure piece (but probably on Youtube somewhere) so it was sensible to assume that most people wouldn’t have gotten the reference. So I wrote a more conventional bio which is up on the site.

But because I’d really like it up on the net somewhere, I now present my original bio, in exactly 140 words, for one of my all-time personal comedy heroes, John Cleese.

And if you don’t get it, that’s perfectly understandable in a china shop.

John Cleese

John Cleese rose to prominence as one of the stars of Monty Python’s Flying Circus where he created such memorable works as the Ministry of Silly Walks, the Dead Parrot Sketch and Word Association Football, a personal favorite of ours and hours of fun. John went onward Christian soldier to develop a successful of himself sitcom down that showed his writing and acting craft macaroni and cheese to be professional to a Fawlty Towers. In the 80’s glam rock he received an Oscar the grouch nomination for the screenplay ball for “A Fish Called Wanda”’s gentleman’s club on Mountain and Maisonneuve (ask for Chantal). An iconic of time figure in comedy, John Cleese continues to perform of the word all over the world leaders and keeps inspiring actors and writers to this very daylight come and me wanna go home.

2009-07-06T14:51:00.008-04:00

THANKS TO THE ACADEMY

I’ve been low on career news lately, but this probably ranks a mention: Today I was nominated for a CANADIAN COMEDY AWARD for BEST MALE STAND-UP. While I’m a bit embarrassed by the loftiness of the title and the esteemed company I’ve been lumped in with, I will say it’s an honor to be nominated, and a hearty thank you to the academy/committee/star chamber that singled me out.

Apparently there’s a public vote that can be accessed through the Canadian Comedy Awards website, so check it out if you’d like. Don’t be thrown that my video clip’s production value (along with fellow nominee Scott Faulconbridge’s) is relatively modest compared to the others. Maybe even a bit like something out of a snuff film or, worse still, TMZ footage. But we gots good jokes, so hopefully people judge on the merits of content. Those awards are given out in Saint John, New Brunswick in the first week of October.

On a related note, there are six new stand-up clips of mine on Youtube, including one blast from the distant past marking a fond Just for Laughs memory whose anniversary is fast approaching.

And on a related note to that related note, I’m in JUST FOR LAUGHS this year, at the festival’s first taping of CBC RADIO'S THE DEBATERS (with its most international line-up yet!). I’m arguing with U.S. superstar Bob Marley (the comedian, not the singer) about cracking down on digital pirates (the copiers, not the cutthroats and scallywags). The show is going to be fantastic. And possibly bootlegged.

That show’s on Sunday, July 25th at 2:00pm at the Just for Laughs Cabaret at 2111 St. Laurent in Montreal.

Call 514-845-2322 or 1-888-244-3155 for details.

So that’s a lot of news on the professional front. On the personal front: baby cute, comic books good, lawn un-mowed.

Happy Summer!

2009-04-03T11:46:00.004-04:00

IF YOU HAVE RESERVATIONS ABOUT GOING TO SEE THIS PILOT...

...good! 'Cause it looks like you need them!

Due to limited space, it's recommended you leave your name at 514-847-0889 or at info@fairplayweb.com to get on the guest list. Then all should be right with the world (or at lease with the 9th floor of 1600 Maisonneuve East).

See you Sunday at 3:00!

2009-04-01T23:38:00.003-04:00

INVITATION TO SOMETHING A LITTLE DIFFERENT

This Sunday I'm part of a television pilot taping in Old Montreal. It's a show called "Funnier Now" but it's not stand-up, or a talk-show, or a fake news show, but it's got funny elements of those things, plus a lot of bizarre and laugh-out-loud news footage from a more bell-bottomed age.

It features popular broadcaster, actor and Conrad Black-nemesis John Moore, and me playing myself talking about stuff I've got no business talking about.

The taping is at 1600 Boulevard de Maisonneuve East on the 9th Floor and takes place on Sunday Apr. 5th from 3:00 to 4:30pm (doors open around 2:30pm). And it don't cost nothing (which is me trying to be folksy, but I mean the opposite of the double-negative which would suggest that it does not not cost and therefore negates any non-payment, which of course isn't the case at all).

It's free. Pop on by. It'll be neat.

2009-02-19T10:05:00.003-05:00

JUST FOR LAUGHS UPDATE

I have been informed that the date my Just for Laughs Gala will air has been changed to THIS MONDAY, FEBRUARY 23RD AT 9:00PM ON CBC TV.

As for live stuff, I'm not doing any for a while. Last week's Debaters/Hubcap Comedy Fest combo was a big success, so much so that I'm going to devote some time to my laurels which are just begging to be rested on.

Thanks to all who came out to the shows this past week. Everyone was delightful.

2009-01-22T10:26:00.005-05:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR LESS THREE WEEKS

Hope everyone is having a nifty ought-nine. Here are some things I’ve got coming up in the new year…

Watch for my JUST FOR LAUGHS GALA from last summer due to air on CBC on February 27th at 9:00pm.

Earlier that month I’m making my first appearance at the HUBCAP COMEDY FESTIVAL in Moncton, New Brunswick. A detailed schedule is at http://www.hubcapcomedyfestival.ca/e/index.php

But here’s a run-down of where I’ll be as far as I know:

Thursday February 12th; Gala hosted by Mike Bullard at the Capitol Theatre at 8:00pm

Friday February 13th (scary); Stand-up at Mooser's Pub at 7:00pm and at the Pump House Brewery at 10:30pm

Saturday February 14th (sweet); IMPROV show at the Empress Theatre at 4:00pm and then stand-up at Cheers at 9:00pm

Plus I’m in OTTAWA twice in the next month.

First, this weekend at the NEW YUKYUKS location at 292 Elgin Street; (613-236-5233)

Thursday January 22nd; 8:30pm
Friday January 23rd; 8:00pm and 10:30pm
Saturday January 24th; 8:00pm and 10:30pm

Plus on February 11th I do another DEBATERS taping at the Centrepointe Theatre.

Details to be found here:

http://www.cbc.ca/thedebaters/index.html?copy-taping

Really looking forward to that one.

So those are the highlights in the foreseeable future.

In the meantime, best wishes for high spirits and buried winter blahs...

2008-12-24T23:19:00.004-05:00

BEST HOLIDAY WISHES FROM THE WANDERING SPROG

Ringing out another year, here's another video of our son's baby steps to grown-up-hood.

Come for the sentimental shmaltz.

Stay for the 80's fromage.

Happy Holidays to Everyone.

And all the best in Ought-Nine.

2008-10-23T11:57:00.005-04:00

SATISFACTION GUARANTEED OR AN HOUR BACK

Just a late reminder that I am headlining the Comedyworks in Montreal (1238 Bishop Street) for the triple-threat celebratory weekend of:

Thursday Oct. 30th (Henry “the Fonz” Winkler’s Birthday) 8:30pm
Friday Oct. 31st (Hallowe’en) 8:30pm and 11:00pm
Saturday Nov. 1st (Daylight Savings) 8:30pm and 11:00pm

Reservations at 514-398-9661. Hopefully y’all can make it out on one of those nights (I know many people make plans for Fonzie’s birthday).

And again that special one-time offer for the Saturday night show:

“If you’re not satisfied, we’ll give you your hour back!”

Between you and me we’ll throw in the hour anyway. My treat. No trick.

**Listen for me and my baby on the CJAD Comedy Hour with Joey Elias on Tuesday Oct. 28th at 11:00pm (800 on the AM dial).**

2008-09-08T15:30:00.002-04:00

BOY I’M BAD AT PROMOTING THIS DEBATERS THING

Last spring I egged my own face by promoting the airing of my Debaters episode about superheroes on CBC when it was actually not going on until this month. Now I have discovered it aired last Saturday. Silly me.

BUT it is airing again tonight (Monday) at 8:30pm on CBC Radio One and Sirius Satellite Radio 137. If you’re next to a radio and you’re reading this before then, well, that’s all the warning you need!

In the meantime, here are some places I’m playing in the next little while:

MONTREAL

September 11th, 12th, 13th; Hosting for Jay Oakerson at Jimbo’s Comedyworks: 1238 Bishop St., 514-398-9661

Thursday 8:30pm
Friday 8:30pm and 11:00pm
Saturday 8:30pm and 11:00pm

AJAX

September 25th, 26th, 27th; Performing with Mark Forward and Ron Josol (Friday) and Martha Chaves at Yukyuks: 235 Bayly St. West, 905-619-9857

Thursday 8:00pm
Friday 9:00pm
Saturday 7:30pm and 10:30pm

MISSISSAUGA

October 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th; Performing at Yukyuks (line-up to be confirmed): 5165 Dixie Rd., 416-967-6425

Thursday One Show
Friday Two Shows
Saturday Two Shows
Sunday One Show
[exact times to be confirmed]

OTTAWA

October 9th, 10th, 11th; Performing with Mark Forward and Kyle Radke at Yukyuks: 88 Albert St., 613-236-5233

Thursday 8:30pm
Friday 9:30pm
Saturday 8:00pm and 10:30pm

That’s it! Enjoy!

Hope everyone had a good summer, by the way!

2008-07-14T14:02:00.003-04:00

JUST FOR LAUGHS '08

Yes, I'm in the Just for Laughs Festival! Yes, it's taken me this long to learn my full schedule!

Here it is though:

Tuesday July 15th 8:30pm WARM-UP SHOW AT COMEDYNEST

*****Wednesday July 16th 7:00pm BUBBLING WITH LAUGHTER AT CLUB SODA*****

Wednesday July 16th 7:30pm Hosting EAT MY TWISTED SHORTS AT MONUMENT-NATIONAL

Thursday July 17th 8:30pm BEST OF THE FEST AT COMEDYWORKS

Friday July 18th 11:00pm BEST OF THE FEST AT COMEDYWORKS

Saturday July 19th 7:30pm Hosting EAT MY TWISTED SHORTS AT MONUMENT-NATIONAL

Saturday July 19th 9:30pm Hosting EAT MY TWISTED SHORTS AT MONUMENT-NATIONAL

*****Saturday July 19th 10:00pm JIMMY FALLON GALA AT THEATRE ST. DENIS*****

The little *'s indicate the shows I"m most jazzed about, namely the Bubbling with Laughter and the Saturday night Gala. Should be cool.

Box office info is available at 514-845-2322 or toll-free at 1-888-244-3155.

8 shows. 5 days. Big crowds. I need Tylenol.

Have a fun week.

2008-06-19T13:39:00.000-04:00

ELIMINATION IS A FLAWED PROCESS (NO "DEBATERS" THIS WEEK)

No "Debaters" for me this weekend. My excitement got the better of me so I just assumed, which has subsequently made an "ass" out of "u" and "me" (get it? "u" as in you! That's right, somehow you deserve some blame for this! You're such an ass!).

Anyway, I've been informed that rather than being in the season finale, I'm in the season opener, which is even more exciting! If this were an episode of "Lost", it would be the difference between leaving you tantalizingly confused and frustratingly confused. So it's all good.

Sorry for the confusion. See you in September!

2008-06-18T12:53:00.003-04:00

USING PROCESS OF ELIMINATION...

...to speculate that I am featured on what might be the season finale of "The Debaters" this Saturday and Monday on CBC Radio One (Sirius 137). In it I argue the merits of superheroes as role models, so there's some passionate rhetoric to be heard. The other topic on the show should be on the merits of radiation, which is a great complement for my topic, as superheroes and radiation go together like peanut butter and whatever imbues peanut butter with awesome powers.

"Debaters" updates their blog here, and should say for sure which episode is airing by Friday or so (at this point they're still advertising last week's "Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah" broadcast).

"The Debaters" airs on Saturday at 6:30pm and again on Monday at 8:30pm.

Will David's lifetime knowledge of comic bookery allow him to triumph over the dark forces of skepticism and maturity? Tune in this week...

2008-06-12T21:59:00.004-04:00

SUNDAY THEME SHOWS IN OTTAWA AND MONTREAL

The next two Sundays I will be doing stand-up at big shindigs to celebrate certain holidays. They each have really impressive promo posters that I couldn't figure out how to download in a proper format, so instead you can get excited about this bland text.

This coming Sunday I ring in my second Father's Day in Ottawa!

"Stand-up for Dad"

starring Scott Faulconbridge, David Pryde, Jeff Tanguay, Denis Grignon

hosted by Rick Currie

Sunday, June 15th 2008

Ben Franklin Place
“The Chamber”
101 Centrepointe Drive, Ottawa

Doors open 7:00pm, Showtime 7:30pm
$20 + GST

For ticket info call 613-286-9551 or visit http://www.standupfordad.com/index2.html

The following Sunday is a St. Jean Baptiste show right here in Montreal!

"The Second Annual Les Maudits Anglais Comedy Show"

starring Rick Currie, Scott Faulconbridge, Heidi Foss, David Pryde

hosted by Joey Elias

Sunday, June 22nd 2008

Bourbon Street West
1866 Sources Boulevard, Pointe Claire

Showtime 8:30 pm
$20

For ticket info call 514-695-6545

So there you have it: two great shows for two great sources of separation anxiety.

Enjoy!

2008-06-06T21:30:00.002-04:00

A-POX-ALYPSE NOW

This week I had the task of taking our son to get his one-year vaccinations, and it turns out the 12-month mark is a doozy. He got four shots to beef up his immunity to measles, mumps, and chicken pox, among other ailments.

What added to the difficulty of this kindness-by-way-of-cruelty was that he was so charming during the minutes leading up to the injections. As the nurse weighed and measured him he was smiling, giggling and just enjoying the happy adventure of it all. Then I was asked to put him on my lap and hold the hand of his outstretched arm where he would get the needle (these were his first shots in the arm, prior vaccinations were in his legs). I was then asked to pin the arm not receiving the needle under my armpit. With his freedom of movement revoked, our little charm-ball was starting to feel a bit nervous about this adventure.

I did the best I could to distract him as the first shot was jabbed in his arm. He seemed merely surprised at first, but the realization of this assault soon dawned on him and the crying began. And that was rough, ‘cause we were just a quarter of the way there. The nurse had said she was giving two shots in each arm; one would be a jab, but the other one would be just under the skin. With the jab already frightening the poor kid, I was not looking forward to the needle sliding under the skin, like the intravenous entry that grosses me out so much when I give blood. There was no diversion this time as Clancy watched himself punctured like a pin cushion, his wincing escalating into out-and-out wailing. Then I had to flip him over to do the other arm.

It was a heartbreaking thing to see his eyes, awash with tears, wondering when the torture would end. His look at me conveyed all the fear, confusion, hurt and betrayal he must have been feeling as I continued to hold him captive in our mutual mini-armlock. When the band-aids were finally stuck on I quickly stood up and hugged him and tried to explain that the ordeal was over.

All things considered, he recovered pretty fast. I’d say within two minutes he was quiet again. I’d like to think this was helped at least partly by my carrying him over to a box of needles on a shelf and slapping it repeatedly, as if to punish it. Clancy’s a sucker for drumming but only joined in half-heartedly. I don’t think he was amused so much as curious about what the hell I was hoping to accomplish. In any case, he had something else to focus on besides potential renewed attacks from the crazy stabbing lady.

We stayed out in the waiting room for twenty minutes to be sure there were no drastic side effects. During this decompression Clancy’s eyes dried while he drank some milk. Before long, he was smiling at other babies and letting out the occasional salutary yap. On the bus ride home he got his requisite grins and waves from friendly onlookers who probably had no inkling that this was one of his off-days.

I am, unsurprisingly, very proud of our baby for his courage and subsequent cuteness in the face of danger. His next shots are in six months, a measly (literally?) two vaccines this time around. I’m confident that we’ll both be, if not thrilled, at least way tougher for this past week’s experience.

In fact the neatest souvenirs of our visit were the four band-aids lining Clancy’s arms, which gave him all the hardened menace of prison tattoos. The sort of tats that announce to the whole daycare: “Nobody messes with me”.

Especially not measles, mumps or chicken pox.

2008-06-01T13:10:00.004-04:00

JUNE 1ST 2007, 4:05 P.M.

In a year that's seen an increase in gas prices, landfill sizes and ambivalence about a Democratic presidential nominee (screw it, Nader's looking good) here's some growth worth celebrating.

Happy Birthday, Clancy.

Love, Mommy and Daddy and Dada (dog)

2008-05-29T00:33:00.003-04:00

THE MOST SUPER ANNIVERSARY (or A PERFECT TENTH)

Ten years ago, on May 25th, I stepped onstage at Jimbo’s Comedyworks for my very first open mike spot. Since then I have made most of what amounts to a living off comedy, whether through stand-up, improv, acting, writing or innovative hybrids of all of the above. I’ve met famous people I never would have imagined meeting (some of whom, I’m proud to say, now know me from a hole in the wall). I’ve found myself in unusual locales from Cardiff, Wales to Appleton, Wisconsin, wondering how the heck life brought me to this point. It’s been an interesting decade.

But no experience nailed the sur-reality of my career path better than the evening of my tenth anniversary last Sunday, where I took part in the season finale of CBC Radio’s “The Debaters” before a lively studio audience in Vancouver. My reason for being there? To argue for the merits of comic book superheroes as role models.

How many classes in high school, university, or driver’s ed have I daydreamed about these primary-color-clad beacons of justice; doodling them, listing them, and just wishing that such ruminating could somehow substitute for getting a real job? Too many times to count. But I never dreamed that one day the government-funded Canadian Broadcasting Corporation would FLY ME ACROSS THE COUNTRY, pick up the tab on a classy hotel, and allow, nay, demand that I talk up my childhood/adolescent/pretty-much-now passion for funnybook heroes before a NATIONWIDE listening audience. My opponent was Ian Boothby who, besides being a funny comedian, is the writer of the comic book adaptations of “The Simpsons” and “Futurama” and has also worked on “The Flash”! I was arguing superheroes with a guy who wrote FLASH! Before a crowd of people who not only hung on every word but APPLAUDED. A lot!

I tell you simply, it does not get better than that. As I sit back, reflective, and wait for my CBC paycheck to arrive (oh yeah, guess it DOES get better) I have to conclude that, as career choices go, I could have gone for more security, more respectability…but I couldn’t feel more lucky than I did last Sunday. Especially my inner doodler, who’s never doubted that all is unfolding just as it should.

Happy anniversary indeed.

2008-05-18T22:21:00.004-04:00

HAPPY VICTORIA DAY...

...and thank you to everyone who came out for my headline weekend at the Comedyworks. 10 years ago this month I did my first open mike at Jimbo's club, and it was so nice to have this weekend on his stage to help celebrate the milestone. So thanks to him too!

It was a lot of fun.

And my voice is feeling much better.

Enjoy the long weekend.

2008-05-10T13:16:00.002-04:00

SOMETHING OLD, SOMETHING NEW, NOTHING BORROWED, SOME OF IT BLUE

Just a note that I will have my first headlining weekend coming up from May 15-17th at the Comedyworks (1238 Bishop St. above Jimbo's Pub in downtown Montreal).

Showtimes are: Thursday, Friday, Saturday at 8:30 pm, LATE SHOWS Friday and Saturday at 11:00 pm. Call for reservations at 514-398-9661.

I'll also be yammering on CJAD with Joey Elias this Wednesday the 14th during the CJAD Comedy Hour (11:00pm, 800 on the AM dial).

As implied at the top, I hope to wheel out a bit of everything this weekend, from classics to up-and-coming bits.

Hope y'all can make it!

2008-05-04T12:59:00.004-04:00

ULTIMATE STAND-UP COMIC BOOK SET

Where the f&ck have I been?

Besides attending my "Better Swearing Through Ampersands" seminar I've been moving. It turns out "moving", a word that normally suggests motion, can also signify a dead halt in life's forward momentum. But now that I'm settled I can finally post this thing I had lots of fun doing.

It's from our tribute show held a month ago (already!) to beloved friend and retiring comedy booker Mike Sauro. It is the ultimate indulgence of my two favorite passions: comic books and foisting comic book trivia on an unsuspecting comedy audience. With the help of fellow comedians Scott Faulconbridge and Tim Rabnett, here it is:

The Ultimate Stand-Up Comic Book Set

Enjoy!

2008-03-11T23:14:00.000-04:00

ATTENTION PROFANITY-FANS

Just a heads-up that this week’s episode of CBC Radio One’s “The Debaters” is scheduled to feature my semantic slugfest with Scott Faulconbridge on the subject of swearing.

Is foul language getting out of control?
Does anyone really give a shit?

These questions and not many others will be addressed this Saturday March 15th at 6:30pm EST and again on Monday March 17th at 8:30pm EST. That’s on CBC Radio One or on Sirius Satellite Radio Channel 137 if you’re into that sort of technology.

Hope you can tune in. If only to hear what got bleeped.

2008-02-23T12:47:00.003-05:00

HOW ABOUT THOSE SWELL GUYS AT YOUTUBE?

They put the stutter clip back up!

After removing it as inappropriate content, Youtube decided it was okay after all. They didn't let me know it's back up. Someone else noticed and told me. But there it is.

Maybe someone over there agreed with my polite letter of disagreement over the clip's removal. I don't know. That would be nice if that's the reason. In any case, it's a welcome surprise.

Score one for freedom of speech impediment.

2008-02-15T23:01:00.004-05:00

EXPERIENCING ZERO TOLERANCE

Rounding out my “Can’t Please All the People Week”, we have the news that I got banned from Youtube. Okay, it’s just one clip, focusing one stand-up joke. Those familiar with my act may have guesses as to which bit got the boot.

Those guesses will be wrong.

The clip is still up as the first bit on my website’s clip page and can be seen in Windows or Quicktime.

I’ll just spacebar down and give folks time to look.

...

...

...

Are you friggin’ kidding me?

For those who couldn't see the link, it was the Stutter bit. That's the first clip on this page. It's the joke where the fictional Canadian Coalition of Stutterers Stammerers and Similar Victims of Chronic or Conditioned Communication Disability shorten their name to Cuh-chu-ssss-vvv-cuh-cuh-cuh-duh. To be totally upfront, on Youtube the clip went a couple of seconds more to show the receptionist answer the phone: “Hello, cuh-cuh-cuh-fuck-it-I-quit”, so there was an F-bomb in there. But swearing’s allowed on Youtube so that probably didn’t make a difference.

Youtube e-mailed me to tell me the clip was flagged as inappropriate by a viewer, and after reviewing it the site deemed it in violation of their community agreement and terms of usage and removed it.

Upon reviewing those terms and agreements, I believe they’re enforcing the stipulation not to attack any disability, and I guess this is seen as such an attack on people who stutter.

They’re within their rights to do this,of course, but I’m still a bit annoyed. The stutter bit is one I consider on my list of clean, harmless, silly jokes that I don’t think twice about wheeling out. For six years, it’s done just fine.

I spend quite a bit of time fretting over jokes that dance on the line of political incorrectness. I never set out to offend anyone, but sometimes people take something the wrong way and I question whether the laugh I get is worth the discomfort some individuals feel. Maybe, however innocent my intentions, those jokes aren’t worth it.

This incident just makes me give up. It would appear there’s always somebody who doesn’t like what you’re doing, whether you're taking chances or just being silly. May as well just dive in knowing that, and play to the people who get it. Screw it, I think it’s time to bring back the Auschwitz bit.

I wrote an e-mail to Youtube just to let them know I disagreed with their decision. That won’t change anything, but it felt worthwhile anyway.

As for the one who flagged the clip in the first place, if you’re reading, I didn’t mean to offend anyone. Sorry.

J-j-j-j-just a j-j-j--joke (yes, very childish, I know. Whatever. It’s been that kind of week.).

2008-02-11T16:30:00.001-05:00

YOUR OWN WORST CRITIC (or WHAT I WISH I’D SAID TO THAT CUSTOMER)

I just finished a very satisfying weekend headlining Ernie Butler’s Comedynest. The shows were well-received (here's a review!) and a lot of fun, leaving me feeling good about headlining.

Then came the hell gig.

It was an outside Sunday show at a downtown bar that I had agreed to close. I'll admit I had thoughts that I may be ending the weekend on a potentially questionable note. Lo and behold...

In brief, the show was pretty well hi-jacked from the first second by a bunch of drunk girls who were there with a group of Subway employees. While they were never malicious, they were oblivious, disruptive and very disrespectful of the comics and the audience. The fact is any other show would have seen them turfed out in the first 10 minutes, but as it worked out the comics had to get through their sets weathering the interruptions, unwanted remarks, and inappropriate screeches of the drunks.

When I hit the stage, I started doing my act and, with every interruption, deflected their comments with effective insults and asides (and the occasional shouting match) that kept the laughs flowing and the crowd entertained. To my surprise, I was soon having fun, getting through material while exploiting the tangents that the drunks provided to mine for more laughs.

Near the end of the set, I noticed a girl standing to the side who had been wandering around the room throughout the night (I had already addressed her earlier). She looked glum and, unfortunately, I felt compelled to ask what was wrong.

“Your comedy’s kind of lame,” she said. It’s never something you want to hear on stage, but with some trepidation, I asked her what she meant.

“It needs to be more punchy,” she elaborated. This was met with a mix of groans and laughter from the crowd, and I took time to muse on the strangeness that the act, amidst the disruptions and chaos, would perhaps not be as tight as one would expect. This got more laughs, but she stuck by her guns.

“I paid $5 to see a comedy show,” she said, adding stuff to the effect of “do your speech, you’re the comedian…” One audience member said, “Jesus Christ…” under his breath, a sentiment I was sharing. This was a frustrating situation, as I had been feeling very entertaining, despite huge obstacles, and had actually gotten out a lot of actual material. But my frustration gave way to my default emotions in the face of confrontation: uncertainty, guilt and submission to a “customer-always-right” philosophy. I said, “You’re right.” Then I did some jokes, still getting interrupted but plowing through when possible, finished on a laugh and got off stage. The girl in question laughed at some jokes, but had wandered off by the time I finished the show. Through it all I was patient, polite and professional.

And to be honest, I kind of regret it.

Because for me the rest of the set was uncomfortable, awkward, and overshadowed by this leaden feeling that I had to atone for something. And that wasn’t right.

Because while her disappointment with the show was reasonable (I have seen this countless times, where a vocal few draw all the attention), her dismissal of my efforts was not. For starters, I object to the use of the word “lame”. It would be more accurate to say the comedy was “severely handicapped”. I sympathized with people who wanted the type of straightforward set that I’d been giving at the Nest all weekend, but that wasn’t going to happen. I can accept some responsibility. But only some. Certainly I could have tried to be more firm with the heckling, more overpowering with the material. But frankly, in the moment, free and easy riffing off a given tangent seemed the way to go, and got the results. I still (miraculously) hit punchlines that had to be hit. There was cleverness, joking, and laughter a-plenty. Not bad for shit conditions on a cold, Sunday night.

I’m angry with myself that I let that girl take control of the situation. She suddenly became more important to me than the crowd that had been enjoying themselves up to that point. I let her judgment override everyone else’s. I should have acknowledged that her judgment, while stemming from a valid concern, wasn’t totally fair. Based on the groans, laughs and Jesus Christ’s the crowd made at her remarks, I think they would have agreed.

Here’s what I wish I’d said (we’ll take it from her “I paid $5 for a comedy show…”):

“Good. ‘Cause I’m giving a comedy show. It’s not the one I expected to be giving when I trudged out here but it is a show. I’m sorry to the folks who wanted a more straightforward stand-up set (so did I) but in case you haven’t noticed we’ve all been distracted by the world's biggest collection of wasted stem-cells in the middle of the room. Incidentally it hasn’t helped my focus that you [the girl] have been wandering around the room like a Dawn of the Dead extra. No distraction there. To be honest I’m amazed I’ve done so well getting through the material I’ve done. Granted, the Decarie bit was 20 minutes longer than usual but it was still pretty damn good. In fact, I’ve told a lot of jokes tonight and have gotten a lot of laughs. Maybe you haven’t found me funny and that’s one thing, but if you’re suggesting I’m not working up here then feel free to walk out the door and go touch your own vagina-wall.”

[That last remark refers to a running gag from the start of the evening. Very funny, trust me. You had to be there].

I wish I’d said all that, gotten some hoots and hollers, finished my show on a quick bit and walked away. Another hell gig for the books.

But what the hey, second-guessing is what blogging's all about.

Some comedy thoughts I’m left with:

It’s normal and good to imagine ways you could have done a show better. It’s a healthy attitude to consider the customer always right. Just be willing to recognize that they’re right until they’re not. Some factors, like a bunch of Jared-serving fucktards, are beyond your control and you just do the best you can. And while it’s natural to zero in on that that one dead-eyed, stone-faced arms-crosser in the front row that is the bane of every comic’s existence, just remember that if they don’t crack that holy grail of a smile, it doesn’t cancel the laughs you got. Don't give them that power.

Be your own worst critic. But just as importantly in this stupid, senseless, thankless comedy business, give yourself credit where it’s due.

With that in mind, congrats to Peter Radomski, Dan Scholten, Dave Heddy (winner of the “stay the course” award with an awesome set; Just for Laughs alternative show take note), David Schultz, and Mike Meo, all of whom did fantastic in the face of adversity. Good job, all of you. Even if I just misspelled your name.

And a big thanks to the customers who listened, laughed, and took time to say some kind words after the show.

You guys are all right.

2008-01-25T17:49:00.000-05:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR

What, too soon? It’s a thing with me, actually, I’m not comfortable with the Happy New Years until one month after Christmas. Until that point I go with a simple “Merry Christmas”.

Hope everyone has enjoyed their holidays, recovery from holidays, return to work, soul-crushing winter blahs, and fevered Groundhog Day anticipation. I’ve been keeping busy with little shows, little projects and a little human. But at long last, it’s time to announce some upcoming shows of interest (certainly to me).

Here’s what’s happening over the next couple of months:

MONTREAL

February 4th; Headlining Comedy on St. Laurent: Koi Bar, 3603 St. Laurent (corner Prince Arthur).
Sunday: 8:00pm

February 6th; Headlining Bourbon St. West: 1866 Sources Boulevard, 514-695-6545
Wednesday 9:00pm

February 7th, 8th, 9th; Headlining Ernie Butler’s Comedynest: 3rd floor Pepsi Forum, 514-932-NEST,
Thursday 8:30pm
Friday 8:30pm
Saturday 8:30pm, 10:30pm

February 16th; Headlining Comedy Lounge: Boodha Bar, 1401 Mackay St.,
Saturday 9:00pm

February 17th; CBC Radio’s “The Debaters”: Bourbon St. West: 1866 Sources Boulevard, 514-695-6545
Sunday exact time TBA, probably 7ish to 9ish

See me argue with Scott Faulconbridge re: resolution that society should clean up its language. Should be fucking awesome (guess which side I’m on)

February 24th; Headlining Best of Open Mic: Comedyworks, 1238 Bishop St., 514-398-9661,
Sunday 8:30pm

TORONTO

February 27th, 28th, 29th, March 1st, 2nd; Headlining Yukyuks: 224 Richmond Street West, 416-967-6431
Wednesday 8:00pm
Thursday 8:00pm
Friday 7:30pm, 10:30pm
Saturday 7:30pm, 10:30pm
Sunday 8:00pm

LONDON

March 6th, 7th, 8th; Performing with Scott Faulconbridge, Tim Rabnett at Yukyuks: 340 Wellington Road, 519-936-2309
Thursday 8:00pm
Friday 9:00pm
Saturday 7:30pm and 10:30pm

NIAGARA FALLS

March 13th, 14th, 15th; Performing with Scott Faulconbridge, Tim Rabnett at Yukyuks: Casino Niagara, 5705 Falls Avenue, 905-262-5233 or toll-free 1-877-968-5233
Thursday 9:00pm
Friday 9:00pm
Saturday 8:00pm and 10:30pm

OTTAWA

March 27th, 28th, 29th; Performing with Irwin Barker and David Tsonos: 88 Albert St., 613-236-5233
Thursday 8:30pm
Friday 9:30pm
Saturday 8:00pm and 10:30pm

Also just a reminder that there are CD’s and T-shirts for sale off www.davidpryde.com which I sell through US distributors. Meaning it’s in US dollars, meaning Canadians have been getting a deal on the exchange for the last couple of months and still do. Don’t miss the window of opportunity. It’s cross-border shopping without the awkward border conversation!

That seems to be it for the moment. More updates as things come up.

Happy New Year! Give or take a month.

2007-12-24T00:56:00.000-05:00

FOR ME THIS CHRISTMAS REVOLVES AROUND JUST ONE BOY-CHILD (SORRY, J.C.)

Happy Holidays!

2007-11-30T00:13:00.000-05:00

FENDING OFF THE PAMPER-AZZI

A while back I immodestly gave myself credit for having huge patience on a long flight to Australia with a baby. Of course, far more credit goes to my better (and more patient) half, Michelle, who had to supply the refreshments for the trip, and of course still more praise should be heaped upon our baby boy, who has been exceptionally chill this entire trip.

Besides depressurizing ears and fawning relatives, Clancy has faced unexpected developments with unnatural bravery.

Never moreso than one fine day walking around Sydney Harbour. I sat on the grass with Clancy, enjoying the fresh air. Two ladies and a man came by, foreigners literally straight off the tour bus (we're fairly sure they were Chinese). They cooed and waved and Clancy, ever a man of the people, smiled and was incredibly charming. They spoke no English, but of course neither did he. It was a delightful encounter.

After they went away Michelle and I decided the baby needed a diaper change and decided to use a nearby park bench. We're pretty quick changers and were confident we'd be on our way inside 30 to 45 seconds.

We were about to unfasten the diaper to air out Clancy's naughty bits when the tourists returned. One woman went behind our bench and posed for a picture, or more specifically, a video. We tried to indicate this wasn't a good time, but before we knew it more Chinese (nary a word of English between them) were swarming our vulnerable little bundle, who's chubby face remained suspicious and alert. Camera lenses surrounded us, despite our awkward and futile objections. I tried to warn the onlookers about Clancy's volatile bladder with flambuoyant mimes and dramatic noises like "PISH" as I waved my hands over their smiling faces. But it was all in vain. One guy really got in close, aiming his video camera right at Clancy's (still concealed) pecker. How this would thematically fit between the Harbour Bridge and the Sydney Opera House I have no idea, but somewhere there's a truly bizarre slide show being put together.

Eventually I explained that we were about to reveal the baby's cock. I forget my exact words but "cock" was repeated several times. It's just a fun word to use when people don't understand you. And yet by the third or fourth "cock" the shutterbugs started backing off, perhaps finally picking up on the need for privacy (or maybe they'd just documented enough of the local colour).

We hurriedly made the diaper change and surprisingly, given the stress of the situation, his nether regions were relatively clean. Wish I could have said the same.

Our son took the whole indignity in stride, and remained his usual composed self for the rest of the afternoon. Now that's a cool baby.

Hard to believe he turns six months old this Saturday (which is tomorrow, around these parts).

Half a year already. Life flies...

2007-11-11T20:21:00.000-05:00

WHERE HAVE I BEEN?

Australia!

Still there, actually. Or in my case, here.

After my favorite Jimbo's weekend of the past year (Jon Fisch is funny) our little family took off, crossed some datelines, lost some days and now, depending on where you're reading this, I am writing to you from the future!

By the way, as someone who traveled with a baby for 30 consecutive hours and came through relatively pleasant, I declare myself immune to any moral criticism for the next 6000 years (or until I'm called for jury duty, whichever comes first).

G'day.

2007-10-08T16:42:00.000-04:00

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, CANADA

Best holiday wishes to you and whomever you might be thankful for.

2007-09-23T16:47:00.000-04:00

STAND-UP AND BE COUNTED: NEXT MONTH'S SCHEDULE

After two months of cherry-picking gigs here and there I'm back in the thick of it now. Here are a whack of dates where I'm doing stand-up over the next month.

Wednesday, September 26th 2007; Comedy Off the Main Second Anniversary Show; Oliveira’s, 213 Rachel Street East, Montreal, Quebec; TWO SHOWS: 8:00pm and 10:00pm

Thursday, September 27th 2007; Comedyworks; 1238 Bishop Street, Montreal, Quebec; 8:30pm; 514-398-9661

Friday, September 28th 2007; Comedyworks; 1238 Bishop Street, Montreal, Quebec; TWO SHOWS: 8:30pm and 11:00pm; 514-398-9661

Saturday, September 29th 2007; Comedyworks; 1238 Bishop Street, Montreal, Quebec; TWO SHOWS: 8:30pm and 11:00pm; 514-398-9661

Sunday, September 30th 2007; Comedy on St. Laurent; Les 3 Minots; 3812 St. Laurent, Montreal, Quebec; 9:00pm

Thursday, October 4th 2007; Ottawa Yukyuks; 88 Albert Street, Ottawa, Ontario; 8:30pm; 613-236-5233

Friday, October 5th 2007; Ottawa Yukyuks; 88 Albert Street, Ottawa, Ontario; 9:30pm; 613-236-5233

Saturday, October 6th 2007; Ottawa Yukyuks; 88 Albert Street, Ottawa, Ontario; TWO SHOWS: 8:00pm and 10:30pm; 613-236-5233

Friday, October 12th 2007; Time to Laugh; 394 Princess Street, Kingston, Ontario; 9:00pm; 613-542-5233

Saturday, October 13th 2007; Time to Laugh; 394 Princess Street, Kingston, Ontario; TWO SHOWS: 7:30pm and 10:00pm; 613-542-5233

Sunday, October 21st 2007; Clyde’s Lemon Party; 286 Lakeshore Drive, Pointe Claire, Quebec; 9:00pm

Pick a date and be there or be quadralateral.

2007-09-18T00:01:00.000-04:00

EVENING(S) AT THE IMPROV

Just mentioning that all this week On the Spot is hosting Montreal's finest improv troupes (and one good one from Toronto) at:

Jimbo's Comedyworks at 1238 Bishop St. in Montreal (514-398-9661)

That's happening this Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday

at 8:30pm (late shows Friday and Saturday at 11:00pm)

So pencil in some improv and PLAN FOR SPONTANEOUS FUN (he said, sitting back and watching Star Trek androids self-destruct trying to process that command).

See ya there.

2007-09-15T23:11:00.000-04:00

THE MOST IMPORTANT MOVIE YOU'LL SEE IN THE NEXT SIX AND A HALF MINUTES

I've cut way back on stand-up and writing in general since the coming of the baby.

Where to channel the pent-up creativity?

Here:

Spidey vs. Oz

For fans of superheroes, swearing, and sepia-toned flashbacks.

And here's the page with all my youtube stuff to date.

Nothing like "working" from home.

2007-09-12T23:01:00.000-04:00

SOMETHING TO DO WITH JESUS

I don’t know much about Kathy Griffin’s stand-up or acting. My main exposure to her was as an animated version of herself on Dr. Katz: Professional Therapist (it was funny). But she made headlines this week at the pre-taped Emmy Awards when she won for best reality program for her show, “My Life on the D-List”. Specifically, it was her controversial acceptance speech that made the headlines.

"A lot of people come up here and thank Jesus for this award,” said Griffin. “I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus.” She added, "Suck it, Jesus. This award is my god now."

It should come as no surprise to people who’ve read some of my little blog things that I have no problem with what she said. It’s quite a funny send-up of all the rich and famous folks who really do get up there and thank Jesus for their award (‘cause He’s all about the gold statuettes, that savior). But not everyone got the joke.

The Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights called her remarks “blasphemous and obscene” and called on the TV Academy that ran the event to denounce Griffin’s “hate speech”. Their president commented that, “It is a sure bet that if Griffin had said ‘Suck it, Muhammad’ there would have been a very different reaction.’”

That last hypothetical seems like an odd point to make. For one thing, she wouldn’t say ‘Suck it, Muhammad’ because nobody thanks Muhammad at these events. Jesus was kind of the epicenter of the joke. It is true, however, that such a comment would have had a different reaction. But that is because a small but not insignificant portion of Muslims ARE FUCKING INSANE.

(Before dismissing me as a bigot please re-read the previous sentence carefully, it’s quite hard to argue with it. Maybe replace “fucking insane” with “homicidal tunnel-visioned zealots” if you want to get picky, but it’s basically true. If you need reminding, check this entry’s date and go back a day).

Point being, please don’t hold up Islam as a yardstick by which to gauge your righteous anger. One thing reassuring about this Griffin backlash is that it has been restricted thus far to terse condemnations on the Catholic websites and has yet to snowball into a papal fatwa resulting in the deaths of innocent Dutch ambassadors.

Now I’m a fan of controversial jokes, and have in fact dabbled in a few bits that touch on sensitive topics (see Gift Shop, Auschwitz). What’s frustrating is that even when the joke is raising a valid comment or question, the people who take offense usually declare “poor taste” or, more broadly, “you shouldn’t joke about that”. Then they scrunch up and shut down. Often merely raising a delicate issue sends the comic proverbially going directly to jail without collecting $200. Which is too bad. ‘Cause sometimes interesting stuff goes unheard.

Whether you find it funny or not, Griffin’s joke questions, I think validly, the sense of thanking Jesus for anything and everything you like. What DID Jesus have to do with “My Life on the D-List?” Why would He even want credit for anything with “D-list” in the title? The man’s “A-Team” all the way. If you want to cite a D-rank thank, I don’t know, Lot. What did that guy do? At least his wife turned to salt, but does anyone remember anything Lot did?

In the end, Griffin’s voicing her beliefs (or at least some warped facsimile of them). What’s so objectionable? Exactly? Okay, maybe “Suck it, Jesus” is pretty harsh, but if you believe what you read, the guy’s survived worse.

Ultimately most people won’t have to deal with these questions. The E! network is following the “shouldn’t joke” camp and editing the speech’s content in the show’s broadcast next week. Don’t really blame them, what with sponsors and ratings to consider. Still, it is a bit sad.

Would it really be so awful if some young impressionable minds tuned in to Griffin’s mini-tirade and thought, “You know, come to think of it, it is unlikely that award shows are rigged by Jesus. Maybe some things in life actually happen because people make them happen. Good things. Bad things. Even reality TV. Maybe our lives are really up to us.”

That’s the neat thing about blasphemy. If you let it, it can make you think.

So let it.

For Christ’s sake.

2007-09-06T01:26:00.000-04:00

SOME STAND-UP ON YOUTUBE

Just mentioning that I've put up some stand-up clips on youtube. I was looking at some old sets I'd videotaped and thought it'd be fun to share some obscure little bits of history.

Here's a link to one of seven I put up:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EtP_Q0Hyx7I

Also, www.davidpryde.com has been updated with a whack of new clips in the "clip crypt" and some t-shirt slogans on the "buy stuff" page.

Please peruse to your heart's content.

2007-08-29T22:53:00.000-04:00

REMEMBERING ERNIE BUTLER

This morning Ernie Butler died a little over a month after being diagnosed with cancer. Ernie was the owner of Ernie Butler's Comedynest, the longest-running comedy club in Montreal at over 25 years. He was also the host of the CJAD Comedy Hour on CJAD News/Talk Radio. Between the club and the show, it is safe to say that Ernie has brought laughter to hundreds of thousands of people over the years.

I first worked for Ernie at the Nest in June of 1998 when it was located at the Nouvelle Hotel. It was a great room. I remember it most fondly as the site of my Just for Laughs Homegrown Competition in 1999, which remains the single most thrilling night of my comedy career.

Ernie was the first club owner to let me co-feature, then later headline, at his club. From the get-go he was giving me exposure at numerous outside gigs and was instrumental in getting me in two Just for Laughs Festivals as well as the Boston Comedy Festival. When I released my own cd, he insisted on buying the first one, a veritable collector's item. He was constantly letting me know he believed in me.

We didn't talk much outside of work. 95% of our exchanges were gruff phone calls usually focusing on matters of "where", "when" and "how much". In the last couple of years I've had occasion to share some car rides with him where we were able to chat about looser topics (the guy loved his comedy, that's for sure). Most recently, we had my impending fatherhood as common ground on which to relate. My last conversation with him was decidedly non-business: he called to congratulate me on the birth of my son, Clancy. His voice exuded a warmth and happiness quite distant from the gruffness to which I was accustomed. A week later he played some of my stand-up on air as a tribute to the latest Pryde of Montreal.

I had wanted to send him some photos by way of a thank you for that very special shout out. But procrastination set in. Even after the cancer became news, I hesitated, not sure whether he may be too preoccupied for baby pictues. Finally figuring that was silly talk, I decided I'd get around to it this week. Then this morning's news hit and suddenly he was gone.

News of death is always strange. After the initial shock, there's usually a bit of guilt from the speed with which we go on with the business of living. It's easy to imagine that's how Ernie would like it. The man was always moving, never slowing down.

Still, gatherings have been arranged, both formal and informal, in the upcoming days. During those days I expect to find myself pausing often to think about Ernie and his family. And I'll think of how my own life was enriched by knowing this man. He made his mark and left the world the better for it.

Rest in peace, Ernie Butler.

2007-08-22T12:29:00.000-04:00

STAND-UP ALERT

I have totally neglected mentioning stand-up because Clancy's learned how to smile and I've spent the last three weeks making him laugh with the "daily bugle" riff from the old 60's Spider-Man cartoon.

I wanted to post some pictures of him but the jpegs my mom sent don't work on account of she still uses beta.

But I will mention that tonight, Thursday and Friday I'm doing some old stuff, some baby stuff, and some new stuff that's been going over great at Jimbo's during the last few open mikes. I'm at:

Wednesday August 22, 2007; Comedy Off the Main; Oliveira's; 213 Rachel St. East, Montreal, Quebec; 9:30 pm

Thursday August 23, 2007; Comedyworks; 1238 Bishop St., Montreal, Quebec; 514-398-9661; 9:00 pm

Friday August 24, 2007; Comedyworks; 1238 Bishop St., Montreal, Quebec; 514-398-9661; TWO SHOWS; 9:00 pm and 11:15pm

Starting late September I should be getting pretty busy so watch this space.

And imagine cute smiling babies!

2007-08-01T23:07:00.000-04:00

YAY, LIFE'S STILL WORTH LIVING!

On the lighter side of the news, guess who turned two months old at 4:05pm today?

2007-07-31T18:49:00.000-04:00

RESPONSES TO MY RABBI-ROUSING (or “WOW, PEOPLE READ THIS STUFF”)

My previous post (concerning the rabbi who wouldn’t shake a woman’s hand because “you wouldn’t expect a general to salute a private”) has received some strong responses. The vast majority condemn the rabbi’s remarks as sexist and decidedly non-kosher. Some expressed this with sadness, others with hilarious irreverence (you go, “Roxanna Roxoff”!). But some have raised points I found interesting.

One Jewish friend wished to clarify that Hasidic Jews are not supposed to have contact with women out of respect. He did feel this rabbi was an idiot for explaining himself in such sexist terms.

With this in mind, another friend’s question seems worth mentioning: can we be sure the rabbi wasn’t referring to the woman as the general and himself as the private? Obviously this wasn’t the vibe I got, and either way it’s deeply archaic thinking, but it is theoretically possible that the rabbi was tossing out a compliment. Granted, the pitch was wide and outside and smashed a jug of Gatorade, but it may have been meant with good intentions. If this was indeed the case, well, I’m suddenly relieved that I didn’t wheel out the snappy “Sorry, I don’t touch Jews” comeback. Score one for timidly stifling the inner voice (but still would’ve been a heckuva story!).

At least one reader has taken serious offense to the post, specifically that I did not specify that the encounter was with an Hasidic Jew, but rather seemed to portray the whole of Judaism in a bad light. I have to agree that this was careless on my part. I wondered about that detail after the post went online and (wrongly) assumed it would be inferred that we were dealing with a more extremist follower of the religion. I apologize for any misunderstanding.

But I deliberately left it non-specific in two parts:

(1) the title, “WHAT I WISH I'D SAID TO THAT JEW”. Just thought it was punchy and would draw people to read it (apparently it worked).

And more importantly:

(2) the hypothetical nasty comeback, “SORRY, I DON'T TOUCH JEWS”. Yeah, that’s pretty darned offensive. Which was the whole point. It was a response to a gross discrimination with an equally horrible, dehumanizing discrimination. It was meant to be flung at an individual who had just made, in my mind, a backwards, obsolete, embarrassing analogy about a fellow human being. “I don’t touch Hasidic Jews” may have made the point, but I was (or would have been) going for a blunt hammer to the face. Besides, the rabbi refused to touch a woman, period. No Hasidicism required.

I had hoped this next point was clear enough, but I’ll spell it out: The “I don’t touch Jews line”? I DON’T ACTUALLY MEAN IT. Making a point in a specific context. It’s what I do.

If this explanation is insufficient and people still think I crossed a line, well, that’s the risk you take writing about politics, religion, and other stuff that matters to you. Good thing I didn’t actually say anything at the time, right?

Wrapping up, this brief encounter busted the levies holding back a flood of anger and frustration with all the fundamentalist religions that have such a baffling, suffocating level of influence on all our lives. These include the evolutio-phobic Christian right, the murderous Muslim radicals, and yes, those Jews (Hasidic) who will live their lives isolating half the global population. It is my opinion (and a LOT of people share it) that ALL these slaves to their specific tribal mysticisms (that should have been outgrown centuries ago) are the worst obstacles we have to advances in science, art, literature and the small matter of world peace.

Offended? Join the fucking club.

Well, this controversial stuff has been fun, hasn’t it?

Next week, I return to hard-hitting topics like my baby taking a shit.

2007-07-29T22:33:00.000-04:00

WHAT I WISH I’D SAID TO THAT JEW

So this Rabbi walks into a green room…

I was in there with three other comics, two male and one female, and we were waiting to perform a benefit at this synagogue. We were treated very nicely at that point, and the rabbi, I guess the one in charge, came in to welcome us. He went around the table, made introductions with the other two guys, then got to the woman. He said hello but declined to shake hands. We all gathered there was some religious reason for it, but he decided to get specific. Here’s how he explained it:

“You wouldn’t expect a general to salute a private.”

The woman didn’t say anything. If she was upset by the remark, she didn’t show it. Then the rabbi came up to me and, going with the flow, I shook his hand and introduced myself. Then he left, and after we acknowledged the awkward and uncomfortable situation, quietly shaking our heads, we talked about other stuff, and eventually proceeded to put on a great show.

The rabbi’s line stuck with me enough that I’ve told the story to a few people. So far the story’s been met with unanimous disgust, with more than one person suggesting we should have walked out on the gig in the face of such an insult.

Looking back at the situation, given how fast it happened and the overall context, I’m confident most people would have done what we did, letting the moment slide and doing the gig and taking the money and leaving. It’s such a polite, Canadian thing to turn a blind eye to this stuff and not make waves. We shrug and tell ourselves it’s not our place and move along. To ease our day-to-day life, we hush our inner voice.

It’s what comes naturally. Which is disappointing.

With the luxury of hindsight and a percolating sense of righteous indignation (not to mention having received payment in full for the show) I’ve been mulling over what I should have said when the rabbi dissed my friend and then came to shake my hand. It would have been so wonderfully simple:

“Sorry, I don’t touch Jews.”

Just to be clear, this isn’t true, as proven by hundreds of handshakes with friends, colleagues and random individuals of Jewish persuasion.

But wow, what an interesting moment that would have been. A drastic spike in tension as the man looked at me with stunned disbelief, taken aback by the insolence, the ignorance, the sheer ludicrous nature of my statement. It would be a look that spoke volumes: “How dare you assault my dignity so dismissively? Where do you get off treating people as inferior, with zero consideration for a person’s accomplishment, personality or inherent self-worth? And would it kill you to at least reference some inappropriate military hierarchy by way of explanation?”

Of course, this probably would have made an uncomfortabe situation worse, possibly even souring the whole gig, and similar future prospects, for everybody. It certainly wouldn’t have changed anybody’s worldview or made the planet a more enlightened place.

Would have made a cool story though.

I hope someday I’ll have the courage to speak my mind at times like these, rather than muse from the safety of a keyboard. The courage to let my day-to-day life be informed by my inner voice.

So there’s less distinction between general and private.

2007-07-13T21:01:00.000-04:00

BABY BOOMER

It’s Friday the 13th and Clancy’s 6-week anniversary. He is at the age where the social smile is supposed to emerge, but sadly there’s no sign of that yet. On the contrary, he’s been in a crappy mood today, both figuratively and Pamperially. He’s been sobbing, screeching and generally running us ragged. When he does smile, it’s a gas-fuelled harbinger of impending foulness (it’s still cute to see but ah, the price…). He has been incredibly pleasant for most of our time together this past month and a half, and we’ve had no reason to suspect he’ll be any trouble. No reason besides one detail which seemed far too trivial to merit much consideration. Until today.

We’ve noticed that the name Clancy has tapped a nostalgic cord in a certain generation, as more than one senior-type has immediately associated it with “Clancy Lowered the Boom!”, an Irish ditty that was topping the pop charts circa 1947. My mom gleefully played me the track on a cd which she seemingly conjured via Amazon.com a week after our son entered the scene.

The “Clancy” of this ballad is a bit of a thug, as it turns out. The opening stanza sets him up as quite the people’s defender, noting that when trouble reared its ugly head, “Clancy lowered the boom” (i.e. he pummeled the crap out of the source of said trouble). Which is all well and good, as at least he is solving a problem. He’s solving it violently, granted, but we’ll cut the post-WWII listening public some slack, as they were on a bit of a role with the violent solutions (indeed any “boom” Clancy was lowering paled in comparison to the new standard set by Harry Truman a couple of years before). Anyway, the subsequent stanzas all end with Clancy laying somebody out and then there’s a rousing chorus celebrating this latest round of hostilities.

The trouble is that as the song progresses, Clancy’s clearly less interested in righting wrongs and upholding justice as he is in venting deep-seeded anger issues by unleashing hell on whatever poor bastard looks at him sideways. One adorable episode has him fresh from the barber shop with tonic in his hair. Somebody remarks “Is someone wearing perfume?” Guess what Clancy lowers? Hint: it continues the rhyme scheme set by “perfume”.

One might argue that technically Clancy was justified insofar as there was a transgression that someone had to answer for. A minor, even innocent one by today’s thinking, but again this was back in the 40’s when having your masculinity questioned had to be countered with brutal and suspiciously over-compensatory force. But there’s one stanza that’s just damn hard to defend any way you slice it. I’ll just quote this one outright:

“Mulroney walked into the bar and ordered up a round
He left his drink to telephone and Clancy drank it down!
Mulroney said ‘Who drank me drink? I’ll lay him in his tomb!’
And before you could pat, the top of your hat,
Clancy lowered the boom!”

To which I say, “Wow! Clancy’s a total prick!”

Seriously, he swiped someone’s drink then punished them for daring to complain? Even by classic Irish stereotyping, that seems a few pints short of a spew! Some Canadians may think simply having the name Mulroney is grounds for aggravated assault (to different degrees, depending on which generation you’re referring to) but in this stanza’s plainest context, Clancy’s got the moral high ground of a droogie from “A Clockwork Orange” (and we’re talking the unsympathetic pre-brainwashed-in-chilling-indictment-of-slippery-slope ends-vs.-means-rationale-in-a-none-too-distant-dystopian-future droogies here!).

So how does it feel to realize you have inadvertently named your firstborn after a well-known brawling sociopath? I guess it’s a tad awkward, maybe even nerve-racking. I still stand by it as a great name, but I hope there’s no latent karma attached that lends itself to acts of wanton bullying. Certainly master thespian Clancy Brown has never shown such a penchant for cruelty (besides in several, well, most of his onscreen roles).

Still, this Friday the 13th has been the baby’s worst day on record in terms of temperament. Greedily guzzling his mother’s milk, all the while snorting as if he's doing a line off a hooker's tits. When he's done he screams for more, ordering us this way and that, never satisfied, never relenting. Plus it feels like his weight’s doubled in the last day or two, so we may have a real goon in the making. Big, demanding, with a nasty temper…

Boy, I wish he’d learn to smile and alleviate some of these fears.

By which I mean the real, genuine smile.

Not the type he makes when he, you know…lowers the boom.

2007-06-27T20:41:00.000-04:00

THAT WAS FUN

Monday I did my first open mike night as a dad, and I had a lot of fun. Then last night I did my first improv show with On the Spot as a dad, and darned if that wasn't fun as well.

For some reason I was anxious about getting the first post-partem shows under my belt. I was worried that if they didn't go well, I'd be plagued by concerns that Clancy and Comedy would have a hard time co-existing. Now I am content that that is not the case. I'm confident I can come back to the stage without the rust becoming too paralyzing.

Still enjoying fathering too much to dive back into comedy full-time. But I'm now more willing to dip a toe in the water every so often with an eye towards full immersion down the line.

It's a gradual process.

What some refer to as "baby steps".

2007-06-23T20:54:00.000-04:00

A MESSAGE THAT DOESN'T MENTION THE BABY

Or at least it wasn't going to. Sorry about that.

I called in this week for Wide Open Mike Night at Jimbo's Comedyworks, 1238 Bishop St., Montreal, Monday June 25th at 9:00 pm. 514-398-9661

This is my first stand-up set since my rock 'em, sock 'em outing at Calories's Guerilla Comedy on May 13th. That's about six weeks on hiatus, which crushes all my previous stand-abstinance records from the last nine years or so, which makes this my "rust" anniversary (and it'll show). Truthfully, I'm not even that rarin' to hit the stage yet, but thought I'd force myself to get on just to see where the muse takes me. If I wait 'til I'm 100% sold on leaving the little tyke at home I probably wouldn't brave the stage again 'til Clancy gets his doctorate.

So come one, come all, for the ONCE-IN-A-LIFETIME CHANCE TO SEE DAVID'S FIRST STAND-UP SET AS A "BREEDER". You don't see that every day.

I guess that message mentioned the baby a couple of times. Sorry about that.

2007-06-08T20:01:00.000-04:00

WELCOME TO THE CLAN

We're proud to officially welcome Clancy David Pryde (aka Optimus) to the family.

We like the name Clancy 'cause it's different (at least around these parts) yet evokes endless possibilites. A guy named "Clancy" can be heavy, lanky, brainy or a jock. Clancy can be the name of an author, NASCAR driver, chemist or small-town lawyer (the type that's feisty, clever and prone to theatrics where the judge overrules objections saying, "I'll allow it...but you're treading on thin ice, Clancy, this better be good").

Plus "Clancy of the Overflow" is a real beauty of a poem.

As for the second name, well, that's got a proven track record.

Congrats to the people who guessed the name (even if you had help), and much thanks to everyone for the good vibes.

Incidentally, no idea where these pics of Clancy Brown from "Highlander" and "The Shawshank Redemption" came from. Our son was not named with him in mind. Honest.

Now if you'll excuse us, the baby's got weight training in ten minutes.

2007-06-05T23:51:00.000-04:00

PUTTING A NAME TO THE FACE

It’s a scary responsibility, saddling another human with an identity. Oddly enough, far more troubling than assigning them gender or race. For someone like me, indecisive about choosing a PIN number or salad dressing, deciding the name of Baby Who (or “Garçon Bebe” as he’s now known in pharmaceutical circles) has been an exercise in face-scrunching and second guesswork.

Definitely out of the running are Levesque, Smeagle and Mogwai (which we’re quite sure he would outgrow. Probably after midnight).

Michelle had a not-that-crazy idea of auctioning off the naming rights on eBay. Based on the number of suggestions we’ve received, such a venture could very well make college tuition a non-issue. Unfortunately, based on the type of suggestions, Who would probably have to forego college in favour of a career killing monsters and robots on any number of cartoons.

Not to mention the high likelihood that the Pryde baby would wind up the poster child for the Gay, Christian or Aryan lobbyists (maybe all three! Scary part: any two could probably form an alliance against the others. Have you seen “Oz”?).

That being said, keep those suggestions coming, but they’re probably getting ignored, ‘cause I think we’ve settled on something. I’m still shy about going public with it, but we’ve been kicking around a name that’s pretty cool.

It’s associated with Australian poetry.
I know no one with this name.
The most famous owner of this name (that I know of) has it as a last name.

Here’s where I’m sold:

The only other person I can picture who has this name is one of the coolest character actors working today. He’s played the bad guy on one of the eighties’ great sci-fi/fantasy cult films, had a big role in one of the best Oscar-nominated screen-adaptations of the nineties, is featured highly on a cool HBO show (not “Oz”) and is a voice on my favorite cartoon to come out during this century (please note: that rules out the Fox sitcoms besides “American Dad”. I don’t watch “American Dad”). Geeks, start your DVD players now.

Michelle wants it noted: we are NOT naming the baby after this actor ("Yes, dear").

When will we have the balls to go public? I don’t know, ‘cause I’m a tease like that.

And the eBay idea is bloody tempting.

2007-06-05T19:54:00.000-04:00

15 THINGS I’VE LEARNED ABOUT HE-WHO (SHALL REMAIN NAMELESS)

We’re actually close to naming our newest family member. In the meantime I’m pre-occupied just observing the boy. Still haven’t quite absorbed that this baby is the real deal, rather than a science fair project or an electronic Tamagotchi pet. Here’s some trivia about the five-day-old Who:

1-When he’s mad, he kicks his own balls. Quite bizarre to witness. More than any infant I've known, he has comprehensively displayed the futility of cyclical violence. Take heed, Middle East!

2-His inquisitive blue eyes seem to study you, but of course they don’t, ‘cause newborn babies don’t see beyond a couple of inches in front of their faces. So I can only assume that he’s looking at air, on a sub-atomic level, mentally dissecting molecules.

3-He is an excellent listener.

4-At least two things soothe him into a deep and peaceful slumber: driving over potholes, and the sound of other babies crying (seriously, puts him out cold like whale music).

5-He does a mean impression of Rodin’s “The Thinker”.

6-He does a mean impression of a chimpanzee mimicking Tim “The Tool Man” Taylor.

7-Hearing CBC talk radio makes his eyes roll back in his head.

8-He’s got a floppy ear like Stephen Colbert.

9-He agrees that John Byrne’s comic illustrations suffer when he inks his own work (he may have been humoring me about this. Did I mention he’s an excellent listener?).

10-He lies in bed staring at the ceiling in the exact same way as someone working on a bit.

11-When he does sleep, his arms will flinch upward and shake intensely, like he’s conducting a symphony or shooting lightening from his fingertips (must add to “name” list: Wolfgang Palpatine or Maestro Electro).

12-When you burp him, his eyes widen expectantly with a look that says, “What do I win?”

13-His diaper contains a wormhole to the La Brea Tar Pits.

14-He’s a dreamer.

15-And definitely a breast man.

Michelle, Who and I thank all the people who have sent kind thoughts. I’ll try to have updates (like a name) before this story wears out its welcome in the news cycle. Take heed, Middle East!

2007-06-03T23:15:00.000-04:00

IT'S A HE-WHO!

It is 11:15 pm as I write this, but time has essentially lost meaning on this, Day Five of a crazy and beautiful birthing bender. On Wednesday (Day One) two of us entered. At 7:15 pm tonight, three of us emerged.

To put it in a more formal vernacular, David and Michelle are proud to announce the birth of our new son, which occurred at 4:05 pm on Friday June 1st (Day Three, or Day One, depending on who you ask).

In the adjacent room I'm hearing the fretful coos and whisps of my new baby, dozing on this, his first night in a dangerous non-sanitized environment. When I wander in to check up on the little guy, which is pretty much after each sentence I type, I look at him bundled like a squirmy, colostrum-spitting spring roll and I can't believe how the world trods along for years on end, then in one room in one house, things change forever in the span of one night. Or five days. Whichever. The last 97 hours have been somewhat taxing.

He doesn't have a name yet. Throughout the pregnancy, we've referred to the baby as "Who", and that's going to continue a while longer. I'm not worried though. We'll sort out who's Who soon enough.

His swaddled legs just extended forty-five degrees like a divining rod and he spat up. And I cleaned his mouth. And he still lay there dreaming of whatever subconscious thoughts accumulate after two days.

I'm still wearing my hospital identification bracelet. It says "Father".

Words can't really describe this.

Not even adjectives.

2007-05-29T14:38:00.000-04:00

SITTING ON BIRTH ROW

Like most expecting fathers, I often find myself reflecting on HBO's prison drama, "Oz". There's an episode where a gangsta is awaiting death by lethal injection, and some mafia guys are talking about what it must be like to wait for your execution. And the elder mafia guy points out that everybody dies, and the only difference between them and the gangsta is that he knows exactly where and when he's going to die.

I guess it's not really as deep and profound as it's meant to be, but nonetheless, I'm reminded of it by recent circumstances. We have been waiting for our first baby to be born. And it's been an exciting, mysterious wait. Really we've been on orange alert for the past month now. We've anticipated the due date, sat through the due date, and at this point, are a few days past the due date. And honestly, the anticipation has been slowly degenerating into non-plussed flabbergastrification.

But as of today, the dynamic has changed. We visited the doctor this morning and it looks like we have an appointment to get induced on Thursday, possibly checking into the hospital tomorrow night. Random chance has been sidelined in favour of clinical precision.

Having a deadline brought with it a strange feeling. To put it in little league terms, I found my anxiety switched from "right field mode" ("what if they hit the ball to me?") to "on deck circle mode" ("well, I'm up"). Suddenly there's an actual countdown bringing with it new certainty: within 48 hours, I'm a dad.

On the way back from the doctor the wife and I took a scenic drive through a cemetery, of all things. Saw a fox and a raccoon. We arrived home pretty mellow. Fears about being ready slowly gave way to the realization that it doesn't matter whether we're ready or not. It's happening. The die is cast. Let the chips fall where they may. No whammies.

The bags are packed. Arrangements are in place. The VCR will be taping "Carnivale" tomorrow night, 'cause chances are we'll be busy. I'm not getting overly hung up on my "final night of freedom" before I become a man. Although for the record, my last meal was quiche.

I guess if I really wanted to keep the theme going, I could get up and watch the sunrise tomorrow.

Nope, I'm gonna sleep in. It'll be my last chance for a long time.

Then it's Dad Man Walking.

2007-05-27T19:29:00.000-04:00

FINE, DON'T COME OUT

The wife and I feel very much like we might if we were to throw a giant party, get the house all tidied up, and nobody showed up. Yes, it's two days past our due date and we're still waiting on Baby Who's arrival. What was once a welcoming domicile is decaying into our old, familiar squalor. With the exception of our freshly groomed lawn (and washed dog), we're feeling the entropy as the spotless floors and tidy rooms are getting overrun by dirty dishes, discarded laundry, and our natural filthy habits. Indeed, it's beginning to look like there was no point getting our Who-home in order.

So we're adopting a different tactic. Michelle just started the 1000-page Clive Barker novel, "Imagica". I am launching into the less-lengthy but still-sprawling "Seven Soldiers" maxi-series by Grant Morrison for DC Comics. Today we rented three movies that we can watch at our leisure over the next week: "Transamerica", "Hellboy", and "A History of Violence" (each one a treat for the whole family!).

Settling comfortably into these commitments, we're hoping this classic reverse psychology gambit will take effect and we'll soon have a mewling mucous-bomb interrupting our reading and testing Blockbuster's "no late fees" policy.

We await the results with bated breath. After all, the success or failure of this gambit will affect our future strategy for when Who wants to get something pierced.

2007-05-25T20:34:00.000-04:00

THE STORK DOES NOT PAY LATE FEES

Well, that's not confirmed, as there are still three and a half hours before this baby is officially overdue, but I'm making a leap of faith here.

It's been a strange week on the anticipa-meter (pronounced an-ti-ci-PAW-meh-ter), as my serene enjoyment of this relaxing life waiting for the big arrival is becoming less serene and a bit more restless. Thoughts are wandering to the exciting adventures that await us and are wandering into the pesky territories of career worries and existential angst.

Last week I diverted myself with the doggie video. This week I was going to compose my own Wikipedia entry, but it looks like a bit of a drag. There is apparently a large emphasis on neutrality, verification, and economy of words, and their editors will all-too-freely log on and change what is written. So I doubt my account of creaming into a girl on a sled at Beaver Lake when I was little will survive with its academic value intact.

All other diversions are losing their kick. Comic books are transparent efforts to kill some time. We've finished watching all our DVD's of Extras and Arrested Development. Joke-writing just meanders into quiet and serious introspection (creaming into that girl was quite a crossroads in terms of comedic development, I'll have to go into it some day).

As restless as I am, my blossoming partner in crime, Michelle, is feeling it worse. Her morning ritual involves shaking the baby to and fro (it's legal when it's in utero). We have spent no little time trying to coax her cargo out of the body using methods I will not go into, as you never know when a pope might be reading.

Amidst the boredom I spend the daytime hours mulling over racism, religious intolerance, government corruption and fiscal irresponsibility, and basically my conclusion is "Whatever, where's this baby?"

So the waiting game continues. Which is fine. Best to continue with the harmless diversions and put baby-anxiety out of our minds.

Tonight, we're going to spend the evening watching Pan's Labyrinth, which is supposed to be a scary movie. Perhaps it will scare the crap out of us. Among other things.

2007-05-20T14:40:00.000-04:00

THE FIRST CASUALTY OF PARENTHOOD...

...is sleep, I guess, but "attention to pets" is not far behind. As we wait here in the home stretch (less than a week to go!!!), I've taken some remaining downtime to throw together a few clips of our beloved dog, Matilda, dubbed a cool song over them, and threw it up on the net! Just as a tribute to remind her (and ourselves) that she's not forgotten.

If you're a fan of dogs or Tom Waites, click the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhUcWX5CE84

Please send Matilda some love (someone's gonna have to over the coming weeks!).

2007-05-14T13:33:00.000-04:00

MOTHER OF ALL SEND-OFFS

On Mother's Day I got to perform my last child-less set (before I quasi-retire to take up nurturing full time) and it could not have been a more satisfying experience, if only to deliver some heart-felt "yo' mama" jokes. My thanks to all the guys who organize the Guerilla Comedy, which is held at the Calories Bistro in the West Island (Complexe Pointe Claire, the mall with Futrue Shop, Chapters, and other fine empires) every second Sunday at 8:00pm.

It's a cool room started by some comics and sustained by comics not to mention (based on last night) some nice audiences as well.

I hope people keep supporting the room. Not just customers, but comics, too. If any comedians around Montreal haven't jumped on yet, I encourage it. It's a fun stage to work and you'll be helping keep the show's talent pool fresh and bubbly.

That also goes for the Comedy Off the Main room every Wednesday night at Olivieria's, 213 Rachel Street East, at 9:30. Indie rooms like these help keep Montreal comedy a plucky little entity.

Thanks again to the Guerilla gang for a fun show. I will be telling my firstborn about it as soon as I cut that umbilical thingie attached to the beer gut.

2007-05-12T12:45:00.000-04:00

RETIRING WITH CAKE

My unofficial official tentative not really but only in my mind retirement show is happening on Mother's Day at the Guerrilla Comedy Room at Calories West Island.

Sunday May 13th, 8:00 showtime, St. Jean exit off the 40 in a big honkin' complex with a Future Shop and a Chapters and stuff like that.

After this I'm going underground, waiting with anxious glee for the stork to do its dirty, dirty business. For this show I'll probably be trying lots of new stuff or recent new stuff and expect it to be a nice time. I've heard nothing but good things about the room (and they sell cake! comedy and sugar, why doesn't anyone else do that?).

All in all it's been a really fun career doing stand-up comedy but I won't miss it. Or at least, if I do, then I'll start doing it again. The red eyeballs will be from sleep deprivation. And they may look googly, repeat, googly.

2007-05-11T14:46:00.000-04:00

LOOKING TOWARDS THE VERIZON

Just a little note that I have 4 bits that were performed at Just for Laughs that are currently available on your cell phone if you subscribe to Verizon Wireless. I have no idea which bits they are, but I'm sure they will be delightful for those times when you're enjoying an intimate dinner date, attending a live performance, or operating a dangerous motorized vehicle.

Enjoy!

2007-05-07T14:00:00.000-04:00

MY MOM'S TWO FAVORITE COMEDIANS...

...are me and Darryl Lenox (she just said so on the phone).

Darryl's a great act whom I have not worked with in years, and I'm hosting for him this weekend (May 10-12) at:

Comedyworks; 1238 Bishop Street, Montreal, Quebec; 514-398-9601;
Thursday, 9:00 pm
Friday, 9:00 and 11:15 pm
Saturday, 9:00 and 11:15 pm

I'm pretty sure this'll be my last weekend before paternal leave, but I'm optimistic it'll be a good one.

Check it out!

2007-05-06T16:26:00.000-04:00

CLOCK TICKING ON THE BOM

Last week I received a link to this year’s Mirror “Best of Montreal” (BOM) poll, and figured I may as well pass it on.

This is the first year I’ve been aware of the voting before the final tally came out (final deadline is midnight on May 11th).

Funnily enough, the “best stand-up comedian” entry is not in the “Arts” section but the “Nightlife” section. Apparently I’ve got more in common with a drag queen than a spoken word artist. Note to self: look into new wardrobe.

I also see that voters must weigh in on 25 categories, minimum. Which probably rules me out, ‘cause I don’t think I have that many opinions on anything, let alone one city. Indeed, I have become so insular of late, I can’t scrape up much opinion beyond “favorite pregnant girl”, “cuddliest dog”, “coziest dvd-viewing spot” and “best comic books not currently residing in my parents’ attic”. But that’s just me.

The rules also mention that suspicious entries will be rejected. On that basis I kindly suggest my dear friend and loyal fan virus@spamworm.y2k refrain from participating.

The rest of you, if you so desire, can find the poll here.

Beware of chads.

2007-05-05T19:11:00.000-04:00

THE NEED TO SAVE FACE

I think it was my brother who, many years ago, found a button at a garage sale or someplace similar that cracked everyone up when he told them about it. It had a picture of the Fonz, most likely brandishing two thumbs up, with the caption, “Cool is Forever”. It was a really great example of unintentional irony, as Fonzie-as-cool-icon is fairly dripping with melted cheese in any modern context [Having said that, I would like to voice the opinion that actor Henry Winkler has definitely maintained his cool, as seen in his hilarious work on “Arrested Development”].

I recently joined Facebook, the latest “it” social network online. It’s got some interesting differences and similarities with Myspace, and I decided, ‘what the heck?’ ‘cause you can’t have too many forums for self-promotion and expression (although you can certainly have too many login id codes and passwords, but that’s another story).

Even though I was happy to join, I was disturbed when a fellow comic told me of how he experienced the extent to which Facebook is the hippest network out there. He had finished a show for a high school audience and was talking to fans after the show. He said that when he told them he was on Myspace, not Facebook, there was a palpable disappointment and subsequent lack of interest in him. This is one of the most up-to-date guys I know, and yet he said at that moment he had never felt so “uncool”.

I guess it’s a testament to how out of touch I continue to be that I still scratch my head at this sort of thing. Just ‘cause to me, getting judged by your choice of chatroom makes about as much sense as getting judged by your favorite brand of protractor. Can’t we just say we’re all nerds for using this stuff and leave it at that? We’re talking about computers, for crying out loud! Seems not long ago, admitting you made “friends” on the internet was met with a healthy heaping of ridicule and ostracism. Now it’s a badge of honour! Frankly, this whole cyber-hierarchy seems to bring in an element of clique-fueled popularity that makes me uncomfortable. If you’re the judgmental sort, turn off the computer and go outside. Find like-minded cool kids and engage in unsafe sex, gang violence, or just wedgie the first honor student you catch exiting the library. Leave the worldwide web for the socially inept and the sexually deviant to graze in peace, far from the fickle eyes of fashion-fascists and neo-trendoids.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to get back to my Comic Buyers’ Guide Heroes Message Board. Someone posted that Captain Kirk would out-think Batman in a Kobayashi Moru scenario. What a loser.

Will I tear that nerf-herder a new sarlac? Correct-a-mundo!

2007-05-01T04:29:00.000-04:00

A DAY OF BIRTH

No, no, not THAT day of birth. Michelle is still abundantly swollen with expectant babe.

I am referring to my OWN BIRTHDAY which was kicked off at midnight this evening following the Just for Laughs auditions at Jimbo's, which went quite splendidly.

My wondrous mom-to-be was a witness to the audition and hung out with me afterwards for a little over an hour. Then, after I escorted her on her way, I went back to Jimbo's and closed the joint for the first time in I don't know how many years (my most certain recollection is from the 2002 Just for Laughs audition when I hosted the crap out of it, closed the bar, then went home and watched a taped episode of Buffy: "Innocence", one of the best damn episodes ever, I watched it again the next day in a constant state of deja vu, on account of I was drunk when I watched it the first time; I should probably close the parentheses now). Anyway, I'm a bit buzzed right now, so I should probably stop typing. But I am extremely happy that life at 35 is as good as it is.

Thanks so much for the people who wished me a happy birthday as well as those who didn't know about this milestone, but were nice to me out of a sense of kindness and/or respect. Who knows which is more valuable.

I just ate some peanut sauce and chicken, so I should probably work on digesting same.

Oh yeah, I painted the second coat of the nursery today. How many reasons to celebrate can there be?

very best,

dp

2007-04-30T15:05:00.000-04:00

STRESS REHEARSAL

When Michelle said her contraction was done I looked at the stopwatch and saw that it had lasted about a minute long. When she said a new one had started, that put the contractions at about four minutes apart. According to our prenatal classes, the timing was consistent with going into labour. Looked like we were having a baby.

But I won’t stretch this out in some attempt to build suspense ‘cause the title of this post kind of gives it away: this turned out to be just a dry run. Still, it was quite a thrill.

The most thrilling part? We were both so incredibly cool. As she lay there, telling me about the next contraction, we both looked at each other with some mix of amusement, excitement, and some disbelief, but there was no panic. If this was happening, we were ready.

Make no mistake, we weren’t ready. We still had essential items yet to be bought, an empty office waiting to be converted into a nursery. Plus, this was over a month too early to deliver. Technically the hospital was going to have to stall the labour, and who knew what that would be like?

Then there were the commitments that I would have to cancel, the schedule to be rearranged, plans to be scrapped.

Yet at the back of my mind was a voice perfectly free of doubt, assuring me: “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.” And I believed it. We’ll get to the hospital. If we have a baby, we’ll get all the stuff we need later. Plans will take a back seat to this. And so I just sat on the bed beside her, holding the stopwatch in one hand and reading Wizard magazine in the other. We’d deal.

Within a couple of hours the cramping pains subsided. A friend told Michelle over the phone that it was a classic case of Braxton-Hicks contractions. I guess those are the doctors that false labour is named after. (How about that for a claim to fame? Makes me wonder what medical pioneer claimed the fake orgasm). So everything was back to normal.

The funny thing is that EVERYTHING went back to normal. Meaning that, the next day, I woke up worried about the essential items yet to be bought, the empty office waiting to be converted into a nursery, and even fretted over my set list at Bourbon Street that night. All the little neuroses were back.

And yet, I know that beneath those neuroses, there’s a guy who has everything under control. That guy has used this episode as a wake-up call to both of us, and we have made some progress getting things ready. I cancelled my coming weekend in Ajax. I’m officially on stand-by alert. Even my Just for Laughs audition tonight has an air of just killing time while waiting for the main event. This guy’s got the priorities figured out.

So I’ll let these little neuroses nudge me along. It’s okay to be nervous, there’s still a lot of uncertainty. But it’s nice to know that when push comes to shove comes to, you know, PUSH, I’ve got back-up I never really appreciated. That little bit of self that knows we’ll deal.

I just realized, this may have been the moment of zen I was waiting for in my January 25th entry. Wow. Here I thought I was just typing nonsense these past months. There’s an actual continuity thread going on here.

Too cool.

2007-04-10T22:20:00.000-04:00

TIME’S PRE-BOARDING CALL

I’ve been listening to music today, which I don’t usually do. But it’s been in conjunction with daydreaming, which I do a lot.

I have been staring into space imagining the music video I want to put on Youtube for my baby’s first birthday. This would be the baby that is not yet born, whom we refer to as "Who". I’ve had one of my current favorite songs in my head, and have been imagining the video footage I will be compiling over the next twelve months. Who’s first year: first meetings with grandparents, first experiences with snow, naps, tantrums, wide-eyed mugging for the camera, and marking territory with the dog. It will be a sweet, moving little archive of our baby’s life, and I find myself anxious to jump ahead a year and put it together.

Stranger still, as I’ve been sitting here rocking to my favorite iTunes (not rock n’ roll rocking, but more of an autistic back-and-forth that my family is all too acquainted with), I’ve been struck by songs that are going to make great soundtracks for Who’s second birthday movie, and third and fourth…

And it takes a while to stop myself and think, “Slow down! Let’s see if we get through the delivery first!”

It’s a funny little conflict between brain hemispheres: the one side full of hope and eagerness to know what this new life has in store, while the other is afraid of jinxing anything by daring to plan beyond the next diaper run. All the while, both sides of the brain remain mindful of life’s most unsettling truth: time flies.

I find myself thinking about what my parents might have been thinking the first time they measured my height, drawing a horizontal line along the bedroom wall. Did they imagine the future notches that would be dominating that corner of the room? Or the first time Dad was photographed reading “Twas the Night Before Christmas” to my eldest sister, did anyone dare to dream that decades later the tradition would have continued uninterrupted, with my sister’s baby, the first grandchild, in the picture this past year? Looking back, you can’t help feeling grateful that we’ve all made it so far, while at the same time being a bit freaked wondering where the time went.

It feels like too much to ask that I can experience such a streak of good fortune, yet here I am today, not just imagining my offspring’s long, happy life but being so bold as to arrange its musical score.

I want so much to know we’ll make it, but the sooner I know, the sooner it will be over. I can't believe this pregnancy is almost over. The baby’s not even born and it’s already growing up too fast. We’re barely taxiing on the runway and time is already flying.

Not only does time fly but it’s such a trippy continuum that as I write this sentence in 2007, my future self may be nostalgically perusing this entry in, say, 2017, possessing so much knowledge that I can only speculate about now. Of course, to my future self reading this, it is now. He’s reading this right now.

I hope he’s smiling.

And when he’s done reading this sentence, I hope he watches some home movies.

2007-04-01T13:51:00.000-04:00

COCKJAWS, WHAT HAPPENED???

If Spencer, Uey, Cad or Maclean are reading this, I went through both floors of that cougar bar like, 3 times last night and couldn't find you guys!!! I'm really sorry I couldn't track you all down, 'cause I was very psyched to stumble down memory-lane. Please try to get a hold of me through david@davidpryde.com, 'cause I don't know how to reach any of you.

The above four gentlemen are fellow alumni from Trueman House, where I lived at Mount A University (on the illustrious floors of Top Center and First West). They showed up at the late show in Kingston last night, veritable blasts from the past, and it was very cool to hang out with them before the show. Brought back good memories. After the show they went to the bar across the street where I said I'd meet them in a few minutes. As they left I jokingly called out, "See you in another ten years, suckers!" I am sad that this turned out to be prophetic, as my few minutes became fifteen minutes, saying good-bye to folks in the club, and by the time I crossed the street I was unable to find anyone in the bar. We hadn't swapped cell phone numbers or nothin'. I felt like quite the April Fool.

Maybe I kept them waiting too long (I WASN'T DITCHING YOU, GUYS), or something else happened to them (Uey seemed particularly primed for mischief), but I was sad. A fun little conflence of events brought us together (three out of the four of them were just in town to hang out) and suddenly my evening was over before it got started.

Still, it was fun while it lasted, and they delivered easily the funnest heckling I've ever experienced (I wish all rowdies would wait 'til the last 30 seconds of the show).

In a way it was a typical Trueman night out for me, as it ended with me separated from the herd and generally bamboozled. The only differences being when I woke up I knew where I was and nothing was soiled.

Sincere thanks for coming out to the show, guys, and I'm sorry the reunion ended abruptly (for me). I truly hope it's less than ten years 'til we meet again.

mmmBOOSH,

d-hole

2007-03-29T13:31:00.000-04:00

LAST BUNCH OF GIGS FOR A WHILE

With all the loafing I have been remiss in letting people know about my gigs, but here are the highlights cutting it pretty close to baby's drop time.

Friday, March 30, 2007; Time to Laugh in Kingston, Ontario; 394 Princess Street; 613-542-5233; 9:00pm; Me and Chris Quigley

Saturday, March 31, 2007; Time to Laugh in Kingston, Ontario; 394 Princess Street; 613-542-5233; TWO SHOWS, 7:30 and 10:00pm; Me and Chris Quigley

Sunday, April 1, 2007 (no joke); Chateau du Lac in Hudson, Quebec; 8:00pm; Me and Scott Faulconbridge, Freddy James and Mike Siscoe

Thursday, April 5, 2007; Mississauga Yukyuks; 5165 Dixie Road, Mississauga, Ontario; 905-624-6501; 8:00pm; Me and Scott Faulconbridge and Dylan Mandlsohn

Friday, April 6, 2007; Mississauga Yukyuks; 5165 Dixie Road, Mississauga, Ontario; 905-624-6501; 9:30pm; Me and Scott Faulconbridge and Dylan Mandlsohn

Saturday, April 7, 2007; Mississauga Yukyuks; 5165 Dixie Road, Mississauga, Ontario; 905-624-6501; TWO SHOWS, 7:30 and 10:30pm; Me and Scott Faulconbridge and Dylan Mandlsohn

Thursday, April 12, 2007; Jimbo's Comedyworks; 1238 Bishop Street, Montreal, Quebec; 514-398-9661; 9:00pm; Hosting for Mike Wilmot

OH MY GOD IT'S FRIDAY THE 13TH, Jimbo's Comedyworks; 1238 Bishop Street, Montreal, Quebec; 514-398-9661; TWO SHOWS, 9:00 and 11:15pm; Hosting for Mike Wilmot

Saturday, April 14, 2007, Jimbo's Comedyworks; 1238 Bishop Street, Montreal, Quebec; 514-398-9661; TWO SHOWS, 9:00 and 11:15pm; Hosting for Mike Wilmot

Saturday, April 21, 2007; Ramada Inn-Belleville; 11 Bayridge Road, Belleville, Ontario; 613-968-3411;
8:00 pm; Me and Joey Elias

Thursday, May 3, 2007; Ajax Yukyuks; 235 Bayly Road, Ajax, Ontario; 905-619-9857;
8:00 pm; Me and Chuck Byrn and Kyle Radke

Friday, May 4, 2007; Ajax Yukyuks; 235 Bayly Road, Ajax, Ontario; 905-619-9857;
TWO SHOWS, 8:00 and 10:30pm; Me and Chuck Byrn and Kyle Radke

Saturday, May 5, 2007; Ajax Yukyuks; 235 Bayly Road, Ajax, Ontario; 905-619-9857;
TWO SHOWS, 7:30 and 10:30pm; Me and Chuck Byrn and Kyle Radke

After that, I am laying in wait for the gig of all gigs!

Enjoy!

2007-03-25T17:23:00.000-04:00

INTENSIVE LOAFING

There’s an old saying that goes: “Evolve or die”. Actually that specific quote may not be very old. The idea was probably expressed in very different terms and then changed very gradually over time to adapt to the current colloquial climate, becoming the popular choice or, if you will, the “natural selection” as the surviving form of the phrase.

Funny how that works.

Anyway, I’ve always had trouble with change. When I was moving out of my bachelor hovel to move in with Michelle three and a half years ago I felt I was ending a major period of my life behind, leaving a womb of private space and independence. My last week in my own apartment I went out of my way to experience all the little qualities of living alone to which I was accustomed. I was watching tv late into the night, cooking myself intimate dinners of Swedish meatballs and Kraft dinner casseroles or simply basking in the silence and solitude. I was trying to imprint a state of living on my brain.

We’re now at EXACTLY t-minus two months before our baby arrives and anticipating an even more drastic life transition. As much as people may think of moving in with a girl as a big step, that’s nothing compared to the prophecies other folks are sharing with us about impending parenthood. Mostly it’s positive, with only the occasional guy visibly shuddering with that “your life is over” sort of look in their eyes. But the underlying conclusion is “Everything changes. Your decisions change. Your outlook changes. It’s not about you anymore.” People warn of loss of time, loss of leisure, and of course the outright denial of sleep.

So I’m trying to imprint my carefree existence during these remaining weeks, and I’m doing a damn good job of it. I am sleeping in like it’s the weekend every day. I’m re-reading comics I haven’t picked up in twenty years (currently in the middle of a 45-issue run of THOR that is most delightful). I am loafing with Olympic intensity. Michelle’s doing her share as well. Together we’re polishing off whole seasons of programs on DVD. I’ve even started taking “Lost” episodes to my mother’s house just to get her hooked on them so we can watch them together. Plus I’ve been going back and watching all those special features and audio commentaries that I’ve always been curious about. No time like the present, after all. At any rate, there won't be much longer.

Some may think we should really be using these last moments of “freedom” to take that trip to Mexico or sail around the world or what have you, but I’m quite happy to do the little things that have made my life the ball of contentment it’s been for the last couple of decades. If it really is “the end of the world as we know it” then I’d just as soon do the things that I’m actually going to miss.

And yet, I wonder how much I’ll really miss those things. Okay, I’ll miss sleep, I’m fairly certain. But the comic books, tv and all around lazing about? Seems that those activities will evolve, but not really die out. I’ll probably still read fantastic tales of daring-do, it’s just that I’ll be reading them out loud to a wide-eyed little whipper-snapper plopped on my lap. There will no doubt be videos being watched, they just might have more talking animals than I’m used to. As for lazing about, well, it may feel less lazy when you’re generally exhausted, but I foresee some time spent in a comfy chair, rocking a little pudge-bomb and just enjoying another special state of living. It’s not exactly loafing, but it seems to share at least some of the benefits.

It reminds me of another old saying: “The more things change, the more they say the same.” Of course I think that was originally a French expression that has undergone numerous translations and phrasings, probably quite different from the original version. But I’m sure the gist of it remains true.

Funny how that works.

2007-03-21T18:09:00.000-04:00

BURNING THE NEGATIVES

Recently a stand-up superstar, Richard Jeni, passed away after apparently committing suicide. I don’t know much about him besides the fact that he was about as successful and respected as a stand-up can be. I don’t know his medical history or details of his death. But people are citing him as another example of the “sad clown”, someone who brought laughter to millions while happiness somehow eluded him. It’s hardly unprecedented. Being a comedian can be hard on the soul.

Last Saturday about two hundred comedy hopefuls lined up in Montreal to audition for NBC’s “Last Comic Standing”, the “American Idol” of stand-up comics. At last Monday’s open mike I heard several comics sharing tales of unceremonious rejection. The experience was made worse by judges who were essentially there to play for the cameras, amping up their ruthlessness to maximize the drama ‘cause, you know, that’s good tv. I didn’t participate in the process and I must say, I don’t regret that decision one bit.

It was sad to hear some of the guys feeling really down after their day of judgment. But it’s the most natural thing in the world. Comedians are hit with negativity on a regular basis. There are lots of positive aspects as well, but we don’t absorb them in the same way. If good feedback is a bowl of scrumptious pudding that we enjoy as a pleasant treat, an unkind word can act as a single shard of glass in that same pudding. So tiny, and yet damaging enough that it’s the one part of dessert that we remember, and may leave scars long after the pudding is just a memory.

(My thanks to the writers of the prison-drama “Oz” for inspiring a frankly bizarre analogy).

Fact is, over the last year, I have found that all it takes is one guy with his arms crossed and his face indifferent, a guy I don’t know, someone whom I don’t even want to know. Just one of those people can trump the praises of a dozen comedy masters (and I’ve received support from several of the best acts in the country). Furthermore, if one of those arm-crossers actually says something to me, well, those encounters stay with me long after the laughter and applause has died away in my mind.

It shouldn’t be this way. Because those individuals shouldn’t matter, certainly not to the extent that they do in my head. Because there have been more people applauding what I do than I can count. Which is a real problem with so many comics. We don’t count the happy faces. We just notice the negative ones, so that at the end of the night, that’s all we’re remembering.

I’d never advise comics to strap on rose-colored goggles and forget about the bad shows outright, to never acknowledge when we hit a rough patch. We need to critique ourselves, to look for concrete reasons why a joke or a set didn’t work that night. But when we let some stranger’s judgment of a single point in time and space override the cumulative experience of years of shows, then we’re selling ourselves short. I’ve done over 1800 shows. I still have bad ones. But when you see it as 1/1800th of your career, it takes some of the edge off.

Lately I’ve been making a more concentrated effort to remember the positive faces in the crowd. The pregnant couple that lit up as I recounted my “Who” bits, the gentleman who approvingly confided, “I like smart comedy”, the people who have stopped me in the street to compliment my CTV special, the ones who bought my cd, all the folks who have shaken my hands and thanked me after a show. As globs of pudding, they are much less distinct in my mind than the bits of glass, but remembering enough of them makes those hard bits a little easier to swallow.

It’s possible that I’m just getting too soft on myself. Maybe the suffering and self-loathing is what makes a good comic great. Maybe that’s what made Richard Jeni great. But when that suffering is trumping all that’s good in your life, well, greatness doesn’t sound so great. Goodness, by comparison, seems really good.

I know many of those people dejected by Saturday’s auditions have had crowds laughing and cheering in the past. I’ve seen them do it firsthand (as recently as last Monday). Only a fraction of people in the universe can do that. And those comics shouldn’t doubt that they’ll do it again. The proof is in the pudding. Eat it up.

Just put it through a strainer first.

2007-03-09T15:48:00.000-05:00

THE KIDS WERE ALL RIGHT

I had a really nice time doing a show for the students at Bialik High School last Thursday night. Besides there being a fun line-up (actually the poster for the show is a couple of posts below), the show was kicked off by several students and one teacher doing a few minutes of stand-up each.

(The teacher in question was none other than Joey Elias's mother. She was charming and funny and, most notably, owned the stage just like her son, same stance, feet planted behind the mike stand; very fun to watch AND she works clean!).

I have to say it was wild watching high school kids ranging from, I'm guessing, 14 to 17 years old, doing their stand-up. They showed a lot of confidence, really delivered the stuff well, and structured the material in a way that really shows they get how it works. Most kids (and adults) would tell rambling stories or question-and-answer street jokes. These guys thought up some neat premises, set them up well, then sealed the deal with a nice punchline.

I just think back to high school and know I would never have had the stones to get up on stage in that situation. Mixing in the natural fear of bombing and factoring in an audience of classmates that you'll have to face for the rest of the year, and there is no way in Hades I'd want to risk it.

Nice testament to the courage of these students that they had the nerve to step up. And I must mention, it was cool to see the audience, made up mostly of their peers, being so supportive.

I often wonder how life would be different if I had taken that bold first step into the spotlight before the age of 25. Maybe I'd be further along in my career, maybe I would have bombed so bad I'd never set foot on a stage again. But whatever happens to these junior comics-in-waiting, whether they end up dentists or accountants or (heaven help them) professional stand-ups, at least they won't have to look back at 2007 and wonder "what if..?"

Nice job, guys. Keep carping that diem.

2007-03-05T12:32:00.000-05:00

FEELING LISTLESS

Just an apologetic note to those who have clicked on to join the mailing list at www.davidpryde.com. I'm not sure what's wrong, but several people have told me they joined whom I did not receive addresses from. After a couple of trial joinings, it looks like the mechanism has not been working for I-don't-know how long. So we're trying to fix it.

Sorry for those who have tried to join and have heard nothing back. I'll try to keep folks informed when the list is working again.

In the meantime, news items you've missed have included touring Alberta and conceiving a baby, not necessarily in that order.

2007-03-05T12:22:00.000-05:00

BIALIK HIGH SCHOOL GIG

After my happy little post-Halifax hiatus I am back on the stand-up train. Besides a spot at Jimbo's open mike night tonight I will be performing at this Thursday's benefit at Bialik High School (details on the little poster here).

Also, this week, I'm at Ernie Butler's Comedynest (3rd floor, Pepsi Forum) opening for Wayne Flemming:

Friday, March 9th at 8:30 pm
Saturday, March 10th at 8:30 and 10:30 pm

Enjoy the comedy!

2007-03-02T20:28:00.000-05:00

IF YOU’RE HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT

[Optimism warning: This post contains pontificating of an upbeat nature that may irritate people in a cruddy mood. Or not.].

Nothing like a jolt of depressing homesickness to put things in perspective.

For the most part, I would peg my recent maritime visit as an unqualified success. I did a stint at the Moncton Yukyuks that was very fun, and another at the Halifax Yuks that was even better. The shows were very nice, the audiences friendly, and I managed to squeeze in some visits with family and friends.

But there were moments when I really wanted to get back to Montreal. I’m no stranger to these feelings when I’m touring around, but for some reason the sentiment crystallized quite clearly with this realization:

“Everything I want is back home.”

It’s little moments like that that tell you life is going pretty well.

It’s odd how we’re sometimes too busy rushing around to notice, but once in a while it’s good to remind yourself when you’re happy. Sure, we experience joyous moments, whether they’re Christmas mornings or finished swim-a-thons or Just for Laughs shows. But we don’t often spot it when life, in general, is pretty good.

I can only remember a handful of times when it hit me that I liked where I was in the space-time continuum. Once it was while I was skimming the wading pool at my first summer job. I had sun, friends, income and even a sense of responsibility to boot. Another time was sitting up late at night in my residence at Mount A. I had food, shelter and as much freedom as I’d ever known. And I’ll admit, not a whole lot of responsibility being felt there. Living in a one-bedroom apartment in Halifax, working at a group home, paying rent and bills on time, I remember feeling like a productive cog in society’s machine, while still enjoying the life and luxuries to which I was accustomed.

The neat part is I remember these happy times with fondness, but not with any particular longing. In each case, I wouldn’t trade spots with the “me” back then. Residence Dave wouldn’t have traded with Wading pool Dave, and One-bedroom Dave wouldn’t have traded with either of them. And as for Modest-house, Scruffy-dog, Knocked-up-lady Dave, well, there’s no other Dave I’d rather be right now. Which is nice. Gives a feeling of forward motion.

Sometimes it’s scary to acknowledge happiness, because things can change in an instant. An acquaintance of ours just suffered a miscarriage which would be heart-breaking in any event but especially given our current status quo. Another person I know just lost his mother in a car accident which seems too awful to imagine. Like most rarities, happiness is delicate.

It’s very saddening. But sometimes it feels like it’s all the more reason to quietly recognize when our own lives are good, and be thankful, and enjoy it while it lasts.

So, not knowing what the future will bring, I find myself appreciating that this is a good time right now. And if I’m very, very lucky, in a few months this good time will be fondly remembered by Modest-house, Scruffy-dog, New-mom, Baby-bundle, Proud-Daddy Dave…

…and he won’t want to trade places either.

2007-02-14T12:36:00.000-05:00

EXPLOITS OF THE WHO

Despite the absence of Eddie Brill it was a great weekend at the Comedyworks. Most exciting is that the new stuff has been on fire. Last Monday’s open mike only added to the list. And the main entity to thank for the influx of inspiration is our little baby-to-be, whom we have dubbed, “The Who”.

I have never been that keen about using family as fodder for material, despite having a very funny family. The main reason is that most family stuff is anecdotal, requiring a bit of storytelling, which is not one of my strengths in terms of stand-up. I tend to like the quicker, observational, and often “out there” material. That stuff interests me more, and it generally comes out in a rhythm in which I’m comfortable.

Also, I kind of like keeping the family stuff at home, private. My stage-time is my unique “David-thought” time, and I’d just as soon leave Mom and Dad and the bee-in-the-car story for the gatherings and parties where we’ve laughed about it a million times before.

Keeping work and family separate has always made me happiest. So why am I writing so many jokes about the Who?

Including Monday’s wildly successful open mike, I’ve added the following titles to the set list in the last week or so: FORESKIN, BLACK, INDUCE, TATTOO, NIPPLES, NAMES, KICK, and ALIEN. There have been other new jokes that have got me excited, but those eight titles represent eight new bits that are purely Who-related. In the last week!

To give that a little perspective: for me, adding ten new jokes to the set-list is a good YEAR! I write more than ten a year, but it’s rare that, by year’s end, they hold up as permanent additions to the repertoire. So ten is a very good year.

Even if half of those eight new bits fall by the wayside, which is likely, I’ve fulfilled nearly half my yearly quota in the last week, just because of Who.

And the kid’s not even born yet!

So why am I suddenly opening up my personal life? And does this mean I’m going to be using this baby as a prop for here on in? Have I gone from distant, cerebral man to loveable, accessible family guy?
Part of the satisfaction of the new stuff has been that most of it has been unconventional in the manner to which I am accustomed. It’s been quirky, heady, and some of it has been downright shocking. BLACK, especially, is shaping up to be a good one. At least one crowd this weekend fell silent with unease and some tentative moral outrage before the punchline blew their tension wide open. That stuff is a blast, particularly ‘cause it ain’t cute.

But for all the creativity and crazy left turns which I enjoy so much, something else seeped into the material this past weekend as I discussed my future offspring. There was this strange element of sincerity. Friday night I spotted another expecting couple in the crowd, and started talking to them about their baby. And we were both excited just talking about it, and I imagine the audience could see that. And before I knew it I was talking about our trip to the OGBYN that morning, and hearing the baby’s heartbeat, and then, BOOM! I nailed a punchline that ripped the room up. Jokes pulled out of simple conversation, a classic maneuver from the Joey Elias playbook. It was organic, spontaneous and from the heart. That anecdote is now in the set as an official bit (officially integrated last night with great success). For those keeping track, it is called ALIEN.

If referencing the Who continues to give me a jolt of humanity that strengthens my connection with the crowd, that’s great news. That connection actually frees me up to be as quirky and strange as I like. Win-win. And from that openness and freedom, there’s no telling what comedic gems may surface.

Maybe I’m exploiting Who a little bit for personal gain, but it’ll be getting its share of the royalties (and most of my shares too, I suspect).

So I’m doing family material. And I like it. I guess having a kid really does change you.

Who knew?

2007-02-09T15:31:00.000-05:00

THE BRILL IS GONE (BUT LIFE GOES ON)

Just announcing that Eddie Brill cancelled this weekend at the Comedyworks, so now we've got a little impromptu Montreal show instead. Acts include Joey Elias, David John McCarthy, and Wafik Nasralla on Friday, and Mike Paterson and Ryan Wilner on Saturday. Yours truly will be kicking around, both nights, still working the new stuff, which has been doing quite well for the most part (the least part being a couple of befuddled stares from the audience, but such are the growing pains of the evolving set).

Actually I'm about to go listen to the tape of last night's set, which overall was very fun. It was a great crowd for a benefit for orphans in Uganda. Always nice to do things for the children.

Speaking of which, listened to the baby's heartbeat again this morning, and last night I felt it move for the first time (!).

Life is cool.

2007-02-07T00:03:00.000-05:00

HEADLINING THURSDAY

There's going to be some sort of fundraiser at JIMBO'S COMEDYWORKS this coming Thursday. There's going to be a whole whack of comics from both Montreal and out of town.

I'm closing it up.

I'll be trying some of my recent open mike stuff mixed with golden oldies. Come see if the chemistry is comedy gold or blows up in my face!

2007-02-01T23:28:00.000-05:00

DAVID PRAISES THE LORD
(or: CAN I GET AN "AWWW...-MEN"?)

This is Cameron. He is the baby of my sister, Kim, and her spousal Scotsman, Russell. They recently returned to their home in England after a lengthy visit over much of December and January.

One of the highlights of my holiday was New Year’s Eve. Not just because of a successful stand-up gala that evening, which certainly ended the year on a happy note, but because of my nephew’s baptism earlier that Sunday. The astute Unprejudician may recall my entry from October 11th where I was concerned about being a suitable godfather for little Cameron. My main reservation was that I am not very religious and in fact have been feeling quite hostile towards institutionalized religion as a whole.

Well, I guess my inner agnostic took a secular holiday, 'cause the baptism had me looking up and feeling blessed. Between the music, the ceremony, and the great baby that was the center of it all, it was hard not to be in high spirits. Props to soloists Jessica Wise and Reg Fergus. Reg has been the main reason I attend the Christmas Eve service for the past 20 years, as his rendition of “O Holy Night” is oh-so-holy. For the baptism he went slightly more secular but no less magical with “What a Wonderful World”. Can’t go wrong with Satchmo.

The whole event had many moved to tears and certainly pinned a smile to my face. Seeing Cameron, a doughy ball of hope and goodness, made me look very much forward to Michelle’s and my own impending bundle. And deep inside I found myself thanking God.

I don't mean the God that's been used by leaders to control the world for centuries. I still don’t believe in a God that threatens with hellfire, or bribes with virgins, or demands that we sacrifice foreskins or comfortable summer attire or pork chops. I don’t believe in any God that would have us kill in His name. For that matter I think the world would be so much better if we dropped the whole notion that humans have to do His will at all. The guy’s omnipotent. He doesn’t need us. So if you’re going to burn books, bash gays or insist that humans evolved from a rib, quit playing the “God's will” card and admit that either you’ve got some personal gripes with this stuff or you're just comfortable following orders.

Nah, I just believe in the God that makes babies possible. The one who gives us not just the ability to whip one up on demand, but better still the ability to look at an infant and get that mushy feeling. The feeling that lets us willingly toss our dignity out the window in the hopes of maybe making the critter smile. The feeling that makes us view festivities that should honestly scream of hokey-ness but instead feel just perfect. Cameron’s baptism was perfect. A veritable slam dunk.

The event didn’t make me born again or anything. It just made me happy that things get born. Whoever pulls the strings that make that happen, that’s the guy I want to thank. For letting me be born in a world that's given me family, friends, good times and, of course, pork chops.

Here’s one more picture of my godson and his mom.

Thanks, G.

2007-01-31T12:28:00.000-05:00

FEBRUARY HAHS

Well, I've had a fairly busy January, and I'm sorry that I was lazy and neglectful about mentioning any of the gigs on this blog. So I'd better get a fresh start on February.

Before I do that, a quick acknowledgement of the lovely and receptive people of Ottawa's Hellenic Centre and the Civic Centre in Petawawa, both shows I just did this past weekend and both very delightful and satisfying.

The weekend before that I had a nice time in Burlington and hosted some fun shows at the Toronto Yukyuks.

And the one before that some fun shows on home turf at the Comedyworks opening for John Fisch, whom I thought was really, really good.

Enough reminiscing, here are some highlights to come:

Friday, February 9th: Jimbo's Comedyworks at 1238 Bishop Street in Montreal, 514-398-9601; Opening for Eddie Brill; 9:00 pm and 11:15 pm [TWO SHOWS!]

Saturday, February 10th: Jimbo's Comedyworks at 1238 Bishop Street in Montreal, 514-398-9601; Opening for Eddie Brill; 9:00 pm and 11:15 pm [TWO SHOWS!]

Thursday, February 15th: Moncton Yukyuks at 1005 Main Street in Moncton, 506-388-9857; with Darren Frost and Wade McElwain; 8:30 pm

Friday, February 16th: Moncton Yukyuks at 1005 Main Street in Moncton, 506-388-9857; with Darren Frost and Wade McElwain; 9:00 pm

Saturday, February 17th: Moncton Yukyuks at 1005 Main Street in Moncton, 506-388-9857; with Darren Frost and Wade McElwain; 8:00pm and 10:30pm [TWO SHOWS!]

Thursday, February 22nd: Halifax Yukyuks at 1181 Hollis Street in Halifax, 902-429-9857; with Aaron Berg and Dave Nystrom; 8:30pm

Friday, February 23rd: Halifax Yukyuks at 1181 Hollis Street in Halifax, 902-429-9857; with Aaron Berg and Dave Nystrom; 9:00pm

Saturday, February 24th: Halifax Yukyuks at 1181 Hollis Street in Halifax, 902-429-9857; with Aaron Berg and Dave Nystrom; 8:00pm and 10:30pm [TWO SHOWS!]

Sunday, February 25th: Halifax Yukyuks at 1181 Hollis Street in Halifax, 902-429-9857; with Aaron Berg and Dave Nystrom; 8:30pm

Should be pretty fun.

This week no stand-up with the exception of tonight where I'm hopping on at Comedy Off the Main, a swell little open mike at Oliveira's at 213 Rachel St. East in Montreal. Itching to try new stuff, as the muse has been very chatty of late.

Then a weekend of blissful family feasting, fetal fretting and comic book consumption. Gotta love it.

2007-01-25T15:12:00.000-05:00

WAITING FOR THE MOMENT OF ZEN

I have four months to live.

That’s what it feels like, anyway, with a baby due on this date in May. Four months until my life as I’ve known it for, well, a lifetime, is over. And unlike your rudimentary terminal illness, this scenario doesn’t allow for a full-throttle binge of excess as I go out in a blaze of glory. No, I have to save my pennies, because it turns out the afterlife awaiting me has a higher cost of living. In this case, you CAN take it with you, and you’re gonna need it.

I must say I have been feeling a thrill at the thought of giving this life an overhaul. I’m looking forward to having a new source of love and joy and excitement and the sort of family adventures I used to laugh about as a child. And lately I’ve been thinking that it will be good to care about something important for a change. Comedy is as fun a job as any, but I am eager to leave behind the self-absorption it provokes, or the neo-adolescent obsession with winning the approval of people you don’t even know. All that will be beneath me when I have a baby to care for.

At least, that’s what I’ve been assuming. But it hasn’t happened yet. In fact, lately I’ve found myself nervously wringing my hands while I look at recent bookings that have fallen through, wait on job prospects in limbo, ponder jokes that fell flat over the weekend, and try to forget the faces of those audience members that just didn’t like me. And as I notice my hand-wringing I can’t help wondering when my life-changing epiphany is going to take hold. I was really excited about the prospect of simply not caring about the petty, silly minutiae of my insecurities. “So what if the lumberjack from Prince George didn’t appreciate the subtleties of my “Sometimes Y” joke? I have a family that loves me, and that’s all that matters…” is what I would say, letting all such minor concerns fall by the wayside. That was the plan.

But here I am, approaching the biggest turning point of my life, and I’m still caught up in stupid worries about why that comeback jammed in my brain before I could deliver it, or what I’m doing differently that’s killing the goalie bit. And those are just the comedy worries. Never mind the day-to-day neurotic fretting over that lady that criticized my bad French at the post office, or the bus driver that wouldn’t let me carry my dog onboard. Surely these instances of life’s little hiccups should be paling in significance by now?

Maybe not. Maybe my post-baby self will be all too similar to my pre-baby self. Which is some cause for concern. ‘Cause I fully expected to worry about diapers, doctor’s appointments, late-night feedings and baby-proofed sockets. But I wasn’t expecting to worry about those issues AND still hold onto the mundane crap that I’ve been stressing over since I was six years old. I assumed my personal demons would move out of my head to make room for the new tenants. Now I realize they’re sticking around, knocking out some walls and adding an extension.

It’s a little disappointing, the thought that the new cool, deep, wisdom-infused David will not come into being with the snip of an umbilical cord. No, there are flaws a-plenty that will be sticking around. Possibly dormant, or at least sleep-deprived, for a couple of months, but ready to pick up where they left off as life reverts to a comfortable routine.

The upside is that while insecure David is sticking around, that also means immature David is sticking around. The frankly spectacular part of me that can describe every X-Men cover from 1975 to 1987, can recite the lyrics of the Buffy musical episode and who hears the sound of Star Wars Tie Fighters when he navigates a crowded sidewalk. Entering a new level of adulthood doesn’t mean throwing out the trappings of the old one. Again, you CAN take it with you. You can graduate college AND keep your sea monkeys and mini-fridge. So it’s not all doom and gloom.

I’m still looking forward to the growth that fatherhood will bring. But with growth comes extra weight that I’m going to have to carry. So I’m going to exercise. In this remaining “me” time I’m going to work out my angst-ridden self and just maybe rid myself of some angst. Contrary to popular wisdom, I will “sweat the small stuff”, or at least the selfish stuff, and maybe even get some of it out of my system. Like a champion body builder, I will pump existential iron until my self-esteem throbs and my superego aches. I will shed the calories of worry and the blubber of regret. I will feel the burn as I crunch every kernel of confidence, tone every sinew of self-validation and jog every memory of triumph and achievement. So when the time comes to add on more weight I’ll be ready. Heck, I’ll be in the best shape of my life.

Which ends in four months. Crap. I need to lie down.

2007-01-01T18:03:00.000-05:00

HAPPY '007

First, a very happy new year to everyone. I for one am very excited that the year also corresponds to the alias of a certain operative of her majesty's secret service. It's a shame the movie marketing folks at Paramount or whoever didn't hold off for a summer release of Casino Royale, which could have made a high-profile Bond flick that much bigger.

"Prepare for the summer of '007..."

How perfect would that have been? A once-a-millenium opportunity and they missed it. Oh well.

Anyway, like the elegant agent in question, may your double-o-seven be exciting, successful and bafflingly free of venereal disease.

All the best,

dp

2006-12-24T14:30:00.001-05:00

LO, A CHILD IS BORN

Or at least will be...

On this Christmas Eve I am now officially announcing that my partner in crime, Michelle Johnstone, is pregnant, and that immaculate conception has been ruled out (as no trumpets were heard). This means that I am expecting to become a father some time around late May.

We are incredibly pleased about this Christmas miracle (more like Labour Day, truth be told), and the exciting new chapter our lives that is about to begin.

With that, I wish everyone a Merry Christmas, a Happy New Year, and great things for this holiday season and beyond.

Still 24 hours to shop for mur!

Happy Holidays.

dp

2006-12-19T13:11:00.000-05:00

HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS

I am incredibly happy to be back in Montreal. I had some ideas for a blog about my thoughts on the whole heckler/audience/comedian dynamic in the wake of certain events (it was going to be called "Michael Richards: Comedy's Columbine") but it's the end of the year and why finish on a stressed-out hostile note? Better to save it for the new year (and begin on a stressed-out hostile note, I guess). Or maybe save it for Valentine's Day.

Instead, an overview of my western junket:

On-stage highlights:

-a hooting match with some rowdy drunks in Calgary.
-playing for a very nice warm audience in Vermilion, including a Stan Lee look-alike (unintentional, I suspect).
-an even warmer audience in Olds, possibly my favorite show of the tour
-surviving a set in Lethbridge with the most agonizing sore throat in recent memory. Not a highlight so much as a Christmas miracle.
-performing for the Camrose police department, one of the great surreal "how do I end up in these situations" sort of moments that are always nice. Biggest laugh of the show was comparing a nice, petite blonde in the audience to Louie from "Taxi" (played by Danny Devito). Had to be there, I guess. They were a friendly bunch.
-an impromptu hosting job in Edmonton which turned out to be a lot of fun.
-trumping the Camrose police for surreal "how do I end up in these situations" moment, a show in an airport hanger in Grand Prairie. Acoustics held up okay, and they were, again, a very nice audience.

Off-stage highlights:

-having a drink with the boys in Vermilion (the boys being Trevor Buchanan and Allyson Smith)
-gracious hospitality of the relatives in Coaldale (emphasis on "hospital", as this was during the worst of my throat affliction
-deer-hunting with Dave Hemstead (it was a video game, I didn't go totally Albertan)
-more gracious hospitality at the Roach Motel in Edmonton, complete with nightly indulgences of Super Mario Party and 60's Spider-Man DVD's
-banging off two scripts for "The Business" on my off-days in Edmonton (hopefully those will air in some form on The Movie Network next year)
-finding Doom Patrol #'s 35, 36 and 42 for a decent price in Vancouver, making it worth staying out west an extra week (these highlights are very subjective)

Thanks to all the Yuks bookers and staff for making the trip a success, and all the people directly involved with the above moments.

More announcements coming soon of a decidedly more domestic bent.

Enjoy the holidays. I most certainly am.